My mom is widowed and 65. She wants to go out and do things, but she has a history of making poor decisions while out alone. She has an electric wheelchair that she drives from her apartment to the mall and surrounding restaurants. Recently she fell out of said wheelchair by misjudging a curb and broke bones in her legs and was stuck in the hospital for two months waiting for a rehab bed that never opened up! A few months ago she was MIA for three hours, not answering her phone. I eventually found her after panic-driving all around the mall.
My mom has had a neuropsych eval and they found nothing, but you also have to be with her for several days to realize the dots don't line up sometimes. For example, she called me today raging that she couldn't log into her account. I had to walk her though the whole escapade we made to bank to lock down her account due to some fraud on her account (that she caused! See a past post of mine).
My mom had a stroke in 2007 and has had mild judgement impairment since but in the last year it feels worse than normal. Dementia and Alzheimer's don't exist in our family, so I don't think it's that. I think it's just more decline from being a stroke victim. She also has abused alcohol on and off her whole adult life.
How can I balance my mom's Independence while keeping her safe and managing my (very justified) anxiety? I feel like I'm keeping her prisoner to protect her from herself. Keep in mind there's NO discussing this with her. I have tried and it's ended up with her screaming at me and shutting down the conversation every which way but Sunday. She also gets unrelentingly defensive about me mentioning her past alcohol use.