My 88-year-old mom has become increasingly forgetful. She wants to eat at all hours of the day and night, even after a large meal. She already weighs too much for her height, gets no exercise other than walking to the bathroom and back, and sleeps much of the day.
Her back and knees are constantly hurting her, and extra weight will only add to this. I live with her, and make sure she gets 3 good sized meals a day and a couple of snacks, but even after a large meal (where she admits to me that she is "stuffed"), she wants more. She wants to take food to bed with her (gets it all over her sheets) and wants to get up in the middle of the night to have more. When I talk to her about it, she admits she isn't hungry, she just wants something to munch on.
Anyhow, has anyone installed cabinet and refrigerator locks? If so, can you share the exact type you've used?
It’s normal to worry but seniors have rights and we just have to take a step back if not for our own sanity.
I’m between a rock and a hard place with my dad. He’s not going to leave his home unless it’s on a stretcher and he knows that. So, I refuse to feel one more ounce of guilt over it. What will be, will be.
I can tell that you have yet to call the police because your person has disappeared. (Husband found 2 miles away on a busy street. Another time managed to get my keys and was found 15 hours later 1 state away.)
I can tell you have not read repots of a loved one walking out and being found dead in a corn field from heat or frozen.
Refrigerator locks are common.
Most of the locks you can find searching for "childproof locks".
Placing a latch on a pantry would also be advisable.
You might want to change the way mom eats.
Rather than 3 large meals during the day break them into 6 or more meals and mom can eat every 2 to 3 hours.
Breakfast might be
Toast and juice and her coffee or tea.
2 hours later Cereal and fruit
then we begin lunch so..
2 hours later Yogurt some cut up veggies
2 hours later Soup and a half sandwich
Now we are almost at "dinner"
And so on...
In between some cheese can crackers, a cookie, fruit and so on.
Preparing the smaller meals is not difficult just make the whole meal and portion it into 2 or 3 plates and give them to her paced out.
Some of this might be she is bored some might be that she "forgot" she ate a full meal.
If there is an Adult Day Program near you get her involved with that. It will keep her busy so if boredom is part of the problem that will be taken care of. It will also give you a break for a few hours a few days a week.
The safety benefits of a bedroom door with a latch and loop on it far outweighs the risks which are none. It prevents a person with dementia from wandering all night long which is the real danger. It also prevents the person from forming a 'shadowing' habit with their caregivers, spouses, etc...
Better to sedate the mother or let her wander all night? Or to put up a gate which she will likely get injured on trying to climb over?
If there's an emergency like a fire, good luck trying to wake up a demented, elderly person who's been sedated. It takes way longer to remove a gate in the doorway then to life a tiny latch out of a tiny loop on the door.
A loop and latch on the bedroom door. Simple and easy.
There has to me no more eating in the bedroom. That's disgusting and if she's getting food all over the place it's going to attract unwanted visitors like rodents and roaches. You sure don't want that to happen.
What you can try is put a small basket on her dresser with some small bottled waters and some non-parishables. A bag of single-serving chips, a packet single-serving nuts, a single-serving fruit snack. That's all she gets at night.
If she's getting up to wander and rummage for food in the kitchen at night after you've gone to bed, you may have to put a latch on the outside of her bedroom door so she can't. I never liked using a gate on a bedroom door for an adult because there's been way too many injuries involving a senior with dementia trying to climb over it. I've seen more than a few seniors get badly injured fingers from baby-proof latches on cabinets or cabinet knobs. If you can't lock it with an actual metal lock, and adult (even one with dementia) will get into it or will hurt themselves trying to.
Have you spoken to your mom’s doctor about this problem?
If she is looking for sugar know that it is very addictive and the best way is to get sugar out of your home as well as chips etc. It is very hard but usually after 3 or 4 days the cravings will subside. Offer her fruit and nuts and raw veggies to snack on. Not many people will get into the frig to sneak broccoli and kale.
Does it seem like it is a new behavior? Make sure she is well hydrated. Often people think they are hungry and they are thirsty.
You might also try getting her coloring books and pencils to color with. Something to keep her hands busy.
I’m sure it’s frustrating to see her do this. I hope you find a solution.