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My 88-year-old mom has become increasingly forgetful. She wants to eat at all hours of the day and night, even after a large meal. She already weighs too much for her height, gets no exercise other than walking to the bathroom and back, and sleeps much of the day.


Her back and knees are constantly hurting her, and extra weight will only add to this. I live with her, and make sure she gets 3 good sized meals a day and a couple of snacks, but even after a large meal (where she admits to me that she is "stuffed"), she wants more. She wants to take food to bed with her (gets it all over her sheets) and wants to get up in the middle of the night to have more. When I talk to her about it, she admits she isn't hungry, she just wants something to munch on.


Anyhow, has anyone installed cabinet and refrigerator locks? If so, can you share the exact type you've used?

Please don’t lock the fridge/pantry and definitely don’t lock your loved one in their room. If she wants to eat, let her. If she wants to roam the house at night, let her. It won’t be long before she won’t be able to do either of these things. Just make it as safe for her as you possibly can and let her be.

It’s normal to worry but seniors have rights and we just have to take a step back if not for our own sanity.

I’m between a rock and a hard place with my dad. He’s not going to leave his home unless it’s on a stretcher and he knows that. So, I refuse to feel one more ounce of guilt over it. What will be, will be.
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Grandma1954 Jun 21, 2025
Letting someone roam the house at night is not safe.
I can tell that you have yet to call the police because your person has disappeared. (Husband found 2 miles away on a busy street. Another time managed to get my keys and was found 15 hours later 1 state away.)
I can tell you have not read repots of a loved one walking out and being found dead in a corn field from heat or frozen.
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There are magnetic locks for cabinets that are not visible but you need a magnet to "unlock" the latch that is inside. So these would not be noticeable if you are concerned about the look in the kitchen.
Refrigerator locks are common.
Most of the locks you can find searching for "childproof locks".
Placing a latch on a pantry would also be advisable.
You might want to change the way mom eats.
Rather than 3 large meals during the day break them into 6 or more meals and mom can eat every 2 to 3 hours.
Breakfast might be
Toast and juice and her coffee or tea.
2 hours later Cereal and fruit
then we begin lunch so..
2 hours later Yogurt some cut up veggies
2 hours later Soup and a half sandwich
Now we are almost at "dinner"
And so on...
In between some cheese can crackers, a cookie, fruit and so on.

Preparing the smaller meals is not difficult just make the whole meal and portion it into 2 or 3 plates and give them to her paced out.

Some of this might be she is bored some might be that she "forgot" she ate a full meal.
If there is an Adult Day Program near you get her involved with that. It will keep her busy so if boredom is part of the problem that will be taken care of. It will also give you a break for a few hours a few days a week.
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It's a fire hazard to lock someone into their bedroom at night or anytime in a 24-hour period. I'd suggest do not do it. A better option is to refer to her doctor for advice and go from there.
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BurntCaregiver Jun 19, 2025
A latch on the outside of the bedroom door is not the same thing as a deadbolt needing a key. It's a latch with a loop. The cost $1.00 at any hardware store. No tools required. Both pieces screw into the door and door frame. If there's a fire, the hundreth of a second it takes to lift the latch won't make any difference. If a person is at the point where they're wandering and there needs to be locks on the cabinets and fridge, they don't have enough sense to get themselves to safety on their own if there's a fire. So you'd have to go to their bedroom anyway.

The safety benefits of a bedroom door with a latch and loop on it far outweighs the risks which are none. It prevents a person with dementia from wandering all night long which is the real danger. It also prevents the person from forming a 'shadowing' habit with their caregivers, spouses, etc...
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Please don't lock your mother into her room.
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BurntCaregiver Jun 19, 2025
@Rosered6

Better to sedate the mother or let her wander all night? Or to put up a gate which she will likely get injured on trying to climb over?

If there's an emergency like a fire, good luck trying to wake up a demented, elderly person who's been sedated. It takes way longer to remove a gate in the doorway then to life a tiny latch out of a tiny loop on the door.

A loop and latch on the bedroom door. Simple and easy.
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She most likely is not suffering a nutritional deficit. The part of her brain that registers "full" isn't working well. Definitely lock up the food. Allow her access to water on demand.
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michelle7728: Perhaps she needs to see a nutritionist for the underlying issue.
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The refridgerator locking mechanisms are useless. I had clients in homecare whose families tried these. Whenever someone mentions them, I tell them not to waste their money and to go with the old tried-and-true. Get a chain and a combination lock. Then loop it around the fridge. Homes that had a pantry were easy because if the pantry had a door, they put a lock on it.

There has to me no more eating in the bedroom. That's disgusting and if she's getting food all over the place it's going to attract unwanted visitors like rodents and roaches. You sure don't want that to happen.

What you can try is put a small basket on her dresser with some small bottled waters and some non-parishables. A bag of single-serving chips, a packet single-serving nuts, a single-serving fruit snack. That's all she gets at night.

If she's getting up to wander and rummage for food in the kitchen at night after you've gone to bed, you may have to put a latch on the outside of her bedroom door so she can't. I never liked using a gate on a bedroom door for an adult because there's been way too many injuries involving a senior with dementia trying to climb over it. I've seen more than a few seniors get badly injured fingers from baby-proof latches on cabinets or cabinet knobs. If you can't lock it with an actual metal lock, and adult (even one with dementia) will get into it or will hurt themselves trying to.
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Not the refrigerator or cupboards, but I tried locking up the thermostat in a box that had a key for me to use, because 85 was just too hot for me, while she would put on her winter clothes and turn the heat up IN THE SUMMER. Locking it didn't work. She got a screw driver and tried to open up the box. I imagine that if you lock the refrigerator you will just have another issue of her trying to get into it anyway and maybe hurting herself. Could you put out low fat and low carb snacks and keep the meals also low fat and low carb? Mostly protein, fruit and veggies. And check with her doctor to get recommendations, perhaps a sedative.
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MissingMama Jun 20, 2025
We had a digital thermostat installed that I have access to on my phone. It’s wonderful! One, my dad doesn’t know how to use it as he was used to the old style. He won’t bother it now. But, I can set the temp lower when I’m visiting without touching the thermostat at all. He’s none the wiser. Bless him. :)
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I remember doing this as “baby proofing” only to have my toddler quickly figure out how to open things anyway. Maybe your bigger issue is mom’s compulsive behavior, I’d discuss it with her doctor. It could be tied to anxiety or something else. It might be a gift to her if there’s a medication to calm this behavior. As her caregiving needs increase excessive weight will certainly make things harder on you, and cause increased risk of injury to you. I don’t think locks are the answer. Wish you the best in finding the best plan
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I have read here on the forum of people who had locks on their frig. But I don’t remember them discussing brands.

Have you spoken to your mom’s doctor about this problem?
If she is looking for sugar know that it is very addictive and the best way is to get sugar out of your home as well as chips etc. It is very hard but usually after 3 or 4 days the cravings will subside. Offer her fruit and nuts and raw veggies to snack on. Not many people will get into the frig to sneak broccoli and kale.
Does it seem like it is a new behavior? Make sure she is well hydrated. Often people think they are hungry and they are thirsty.
You might also try getting her coloring books and pencils to color with. Something to keep her hands busy.

I’m sure it’s frustrating to see her do this. I hope you find a solution.
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