Are there signs of possible impending violence with rapidly declining dementia patients?

Has he shown any signs of being violent? Angry outbursts? Throwing things? etc? If so, then the signs are there and it could fairly easily escalate, IMHO.

As someone mentioned, a UTI is a possibility. If that is ruled out, he/you may benefit from him being on some kind of a sedative or anti-anxiety to control his behavior to a more acceptable level.

Good luck

So you and your husband sold your home and moved in with his parents. The dad has dementia. The mom has CHF.
You are concerned that the parents may become abusive towards your husband?

I will say in general it is always wise to check any “rapidly declining dementia patients” for a UTI. UTIs are toxic and can cause accelerated dementia symptoms that can sometimes clear after treatment. A simple pee test can rule that out.

Abusive parents don’t usually change their stripes. After the “honeymoon” phase they revert to being the parent and it is difficult for the adult child to not respond accordingly.

The elderly, again in general, have higher anxiety. Change of almost any type is upsetting to them. Even if they have more needed help as a result of the move in, they feel a loss of control of their environment and this ramps up their anxiety. People with high anxiety are usually not at their best. It should be treated.

Any sign of violence can’t be swept under the rug. The police should be called. The elder may get a ride to ER and have an opportunity to get needed blood work, UTI test etc. Alternately, the elder can put up a defense and the police may be confused as to what is truly happening and you and DH may be portrayed as unwelcome guests. Regardless, as you are concerned about violence, don’t ignore your better judgment.

Make sure there are no guns or knives in easy access.

If your husband does not have a DPOA already, he is not likely to get one at this point. Does anyone have authority to manage their medical care and finances?

What is the end goal of moving in with his parents? Are the other siblings helping out or neglecting?

I'm posting what you have in your profile because it is helpful:

"Daughter-in-law who sold her home and moved with her husband to live with his elderly parents. They are controlling with dementia (him) and heart disease (her). I am finding it very hard to do this and they have always treated my husband poorly. They also have another son and two daughters in the same town. "