Recently we celebrated my mother-in-law's 89 birthday. We all got together and celebrated over a weekend and went out to dinner multiple times. We decided to split the bill between her 3 children, each time we went out. The bill was often for anywhere from 14-18 people. Close friends and grandchildren were included.
To my surprise, I found out that both sisters were using credit cards that were tied to my mother in law's bank account. In essence my mother in law paid for their portion of the bill, and my husband got stuck paying the share of the bill with our own money.
I know my mother-in-law. If she had known she paid for 2 of her children and not the third, she would have paid it all.
She doesn't know they used her account to pay. When she see the bill, she will assume she paid it all including my husband's portion.
Am I being petty by being angry? I don't want upset my mother inlaw with this. But is there anything I can do? It seems awfully unfair to her son and the sisters to their brother.

Someone answered here that they’re probably authorized users which isn’t necessarily the case. I found out my sibling uses my mom’s card & he isn’t an authorized user...........he thinks because he has DPOA that it gives him that right but I found out from the credit company that they don’t allow that. You must be an authorized user.

The problem is that most places don’t look at the names or signatures on the cards which they should. My sibling has used mom’s card to put gas in his car, take his girlfriend & mom out to eat, etc. I personally feel that it’s financial abuse of his authority since mom has dementia & has no clue of her finances.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Jada824

Sounds like both sils are authorized users.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Pasa18

I also agree to leave this to hubby. How did you find out that their cc's are tied to your MIL's bank account? If it wasn't first-hand from either sister or their mother, then maybe it's speculation/gossip?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777
Marshhen Oct 22, 2019
We were at a restaurant. The waitress had trouble running their cards back to back. On returning to the table, she asked if the cards were from the same account. To which they answered ... "Yes"
I disagree with Ahmi, you shouldn’t say anything to your SILs. It’s not your place. The only one who should address it is your husband.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to worriedinCali
Ahmijoy Oct 21, 2019
Very true. I was wrong. It’s probably bothering her more than hubs, but you’re right. Her husband should be the one to bring it up.
See 3 more replies
Why do your SIL’s have credit cards that are tied to their mother’s account? Are they responsible for paying her bills? If they are in the habit of spending her money on themselves without her knowledge, this amounts to stealing.

You can handle this one of two ways. Be the better person and say nothing. Chalk it up to costly experience. And the next time you do something like this, ask for a separate check for you and your husband only. Or, you can tell your SILs you know what they did and you think it was pretty stinky of them. But first, make sure they didn’t pay Mom back and you didn’t realize they did. You can also mention to your MIL that she needs to carefully check her statement for unauthorized charges. But be prepared that you could start a rift with your husband’s family.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter