I am the younger sister who is a p/t care giver. I am overnight 4 days a week. I help them around the house, take them to doctor's appointments, go with them in the examination room to ask the doctors questions and make certain I understand the issues thoroughly (parents first language is not English and don't understand what's told them), take them grocery shopping, to the bank, etc. I've repeatedly asked my other brother, my only sibling, to assist. He lives 10 miles away while my home is 40 miles away. He says he will, but never shows. He's been passive-aggressive to me for years and years.
When I called him to help when my dad fainted and split his ear in half. Blood was gushing all over the kitchen. I thought dad had died. I was beside myself and called him to come by. He didn't. Dad had a heart issue and had a hairline fracture in his neck due to the spill. My brother did come to the hospital when I asked my mom to call him to come by.
I did "persuade" him to take my mom to the doctor's once. I asked my brother to sit in on the exam (no disrobing for mom) to understand her health issues. My parents told me my brother didn't want to go in and didn't.
I have asked my parents why he doesn't seem to help. They tell me he worked 12+ hours a day (starts work at 7am and goes until after 9pm every evening & weekend). He's a high school teacher at a private high school. I doubt his workload is this heavy. I could be wrong, but believe he is out with friends instead.
He's 60 years old, divorced and has a 30 year old daughter who is on her own. He does come once a week for two hours for Sunday dinner my mom cooks. He takes gifts of cash from my parents.
Has anyone had any experience with a sibling who refuses to help? I've asked nicely, I'm asked angrily, I've set boundaries. It's like talking to a rock.