Hello, my name is Christina.
I am a 21 year old community college student. In February of 2018 my grandfather passed away and left my grandma alone in their home and before doing so verbally expressed his wish that we live in their home and take care of her until her passing. In their living trust my grandfathers wishes were to leave their home to my mother Rita who was a caregiver for him up until his death in hospice care. My mom is an honest self sacrifing woman that is living a nightmare. We lived in an apartment up until his death. It was agreed upon verbally and made the most sense for our family of 5, my dad, mom, brother, sister and I to move in and aid my mom in being a caregiver for my grandma who is living with dementia & depression. A week after the death of my grandpa a fight erupted between my mom and aunt because she was upset with the decision that the house be left to my mom. Still though the house is under the name of my grandma, rightfully. We have taken care of her since then and have lived here and dealt with a lot of ugly trauma, so much so that I write this in tears. We are not perfect but have done everything right and have tried our best at keeping things orderly however my uncle has threatened my father & accused us of only living here for the house. My aunt has created a lot of drama and fear. When my grandma goes out with her she tells my aunt my mom writes checks with her money and she doesn’t know where we spend her money. While not being true it is still very hurtful and unsettling. It worries us and makes us feel inferior and there is no one but ourselves to back us. We have no help from other family members, it is just the five of us. We are afraid that we will be kicked out even though we’ve been the ones feeding her, cleaning after her accidents, making every single pharmacy and doctor appointment trip. We pay every bill except for the landline and the house taxes as we have no use for the landline and the house is not under the name of my mom. We’ve fixed up the house a little bit it being a 101 year old house, and done our best at keeping her warm, fed, and healthy. But we are at our wits end and need legal advice. We too are human and are living with the fear we will have no where to go. We want to give her the best care while still protecting ourselves as these things can get ugly. What can we do & how do we protect ourselves and be transparent about the care we provide? Trying to put aside the way we feel about an aunt that believes herself to be highly educated and has a superiority complex because she owns a house and drives new cars and an uncle that for decades has had a drug dependency and has been in an out of jail (some background: my grandfather was on oxygen, and my uncle was watching him one night but before that my aunt went to the nearest bar and had drinks with him, in the middle of the night my mom gets a call from my grandma that my grandpa’s concentrator was broken and thrown at the wall by my uncle leaving my grandpa without oxygen for more than an hour I believe. He is known for his violent nature. These are the people we are dealing with.) We want to have peaceful and limited interactions with them. Desperate for advice and to feel like I’m not about to be thrown out on the street. We’ve never abused our grandma and we’ve always swallowed our pride but what can we do, we’ve done our best.