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My mother is 63, they originally said she had short term memory loss. And we have progressed from there starting around age 50. She fights with people in her head. Has had conversations with herself using two voices, and now stops eating in the middle of a meal because she all of the sudden doesn't like it. Any suggestions and is this normal as her doctor says?

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Sunshine, my heart hurts for you and what you have been charged with doing. My husband is not mentally ill, but he is bedridden. I have no help with him, house cleaning, home repairs, finances or anything else. My daughter makes promises for us to go out and it never happens. My son, who currently lives 15 minutes away will be moving an hour away in a few days to be closer to his in-laws who babysit for my grandson whom I haven’t seen in a month. Neither one of the kids ask how their father is. If I say something, my daughter sends me a sad-face emoji and my son tells me to quit complaining.

Have you considered a facility for Mom? Many of us on this site will say it takes a traumatic event before decisions are made. Because Mom is violent and unpredictable, I really hope not. I will keep you and your family very close in my thoughts and prayers.
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Sunshine, what you said in your post below about Mom is a game changer. She is violent and unpredictable. She has no business living in a home with children. The things they are seeing her do will affect them for the rest of their lives and not in a good way. Why are you exposing them to this? All promises to never put Mom in a facility were null and void when she came at you with scissors. What if it were one of your children? What if she connected?

The next time she has a melt down, call the police. They will take her to the ER where she will most likely be Baker Acted. Refuse to bring her home even though they will try to convince you to. Tell them she is homicidal and you have children in your home. You fear for their safety and yours. .

I would be absolutely terrified to have someone like that in my home if I had young children and/or pets.
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Sunshine13 Oct 2018
My children are kept separate from her most the time. Only there here and there as we live right next door to her. My adult child does live with her whom is a registered CNA. Anytime she has became combative we have quickly removed my younger children from the area, but they have still caught bits and pieces but never her physical attacks. However I have caught great grief from my sister and other family members for not moving in with my mother, I completely refused to for my children's safety. Please don't think I am putting my children through her physical attacks. They have seen once when she was fighting with someone in her head and speaking in two different voices and that was it for me and I would not allow them to be around her much. We go there as a family to have dinners ect with my mom but my husband and I work very hard to keep them separate. They do get scared while eating and she all the sudden starts talking and arguing about not liking the food. I quickly intervene when my children are present. When they saw the attack by my mother, I had her immediately hospitalized. And then was called worthless and told I did not love my mother because I would not move my family in with her by my sister (whom may I add, lives in another state and for the last two years has not seen my mother) and by my mother's friend. I would not bring my mother home until she was no longer physical. I also removed my mother's pets from her home which was frowned upon by others. But I had to protect them. I live a 1 minute walk next to my mother, yelling distance as we say and I told my sister that was going to have to be close enough for my children's sake. My 'homes' stay very divided with me being with my mother and adult daughter or my husband being there. We do what we have to to protect my younger children.

The doctor just keeps telling me that this is 'normal behavior' even when he has seen video of her sitting straight up in bed screaming and yelling. My oldest daughter has worked in several nursing homes and never seen behavior to the extreme my mom has taken it. I'm at a loss on what else to do. And thought I would try here for others that possibly have seen the same behavior with dementia before looking for another doctor's opinion.
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Is she on any meds for her symptoms. If so, research them on the internet to see what the side effects are.
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My mother never acted out as far as I know, but in her mind, she was a famous stage actress in New York City. Her room was her apartment in Chicago and I was her co-star. Her red jacket was a satin cape. It’s more delusions and hallucinations than a split personality. Is it normal? Well, there is no “normal” for people with dementia. Her doctor may have meant her dementia is progressing the way it usually does. Is she on medications?

As as long as she’s not combative, I’d let her argue with herself. As for the not eating, don’t make her a different meal. When she gets hungry enough, she’ll eat whatever you put in front of her.
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Sunshine13 Oct 2018
She is on meds for dementia as well as hallucinations. She has been very combative before including throwing things at us, came at me with scissors, hitting, ect. Now she is screaming and yelling "we will kill them all" at the top of her lungs. She argues with us, throws food, has thrown her poo. I would be ok with happy hallucinations but she is extremely angry all the time. Its angry or crying. No in between. We have tried different psych meds which seemed to make things worse.
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