Anyone use a lawyer for help in getting parents into a nursing home? How was the process? And how long did it take?

Alfaro: Although my brother is an attorney who can practice law in the state of Massachusetts, there was no need for it when our mother was transported to the NH from the hospital.

First priority is to get your parents help at home, yours or theirs, or placed into a facility, a better choice. Their money pays for their care.

Then, get your knee surgery and look into getting your rotator cuff fixed. If something happens to you, you are no good to anyone else.

Are your parents of sound mind? Medical and financial POA should be set up.

I don't see why a lawyer would need to be involved. Your situation sounds like you need to find a care facility with space for your parents and then you need to pay the bill and move them in. Are your parents objecting and you are trying to override their objections? Then you might be considering a lawyer for applying for Guardianship.

I didn't need a lawyer, I received help from the local hospital after I sent my LO there. In your case, if they don't need to go to the hospital, you need to get a social worker to help you. Have one of your parents doctors send a referral to a social worker connected to the hospital. Let the SW know you are unable to safely take care of them anymore and need help placing them. You may or may not need an attorney. You may want an attorney if there are significant assets involved, property ownership, IRA's, insurance, etc because the attorney can advise an structure the assets to pay for their care and plan for Medicaid.

I visited 3 or 4 nursing homes. Chose the one I thought was best for my uncle. Filled out an application and had his doctor complete a medical form. They called two days lter and said they had a private room for him. I took him the next day. Wrote a check for one month's deposit and the current months rent. No lawyer, no hassles. He was in a private pay facility; If Medicaid is needed there may be more involved.

How did you get into this situation of being the caregiver for your parents?

Obviously it can't continue.

Please tell us more...

Have you looked into nursing homes that would provide long-term respite care?

When we had to remodel my parents' house to enable them to stay there, I moved them to an independent living cottage in a local retirement community for four months.

Keep in mind if you pursue guardianship, legal costs and time/efforts would be *per person*. If the county acquires guardianship, there is no guarantee they will wind up in the same facility or local to you, but from my personal experience they would try very hard to make this happen. You may have to choose between them being together, but in a more distant facility, or closer but in separate locations. I'm not saying this will happen, but giving tempered expectations as to how things *could* transpire.

Alfaro,
I did contact a few lawyers about getting guardianship. It is a long process and it is expensive ($10,000 - $15,000). It also involves court dates and it can take up to a year to finalize the process. After talking to 3 attorneys and discussing the situation with my sibling, we decided and were advised not to begin the process.

I thought about getting guardianship because nether my sibling nor I have POA. My parents are declining and make extremely poor decisions (financial and daily life decisions). But it is their life, and it is their decision not to give us POA.

So they are falling through the cracks. It is extremely sad to watch. Sounds like you need help, I'm so sorry for your situation.

Grandma1954 asks questions that we need answers to so that we can give you the best and most appropriate guidance. Also, laws and rules vary by state.

Also, do they live with you in your home, or are you living in their home?

Are you POA?
Is your mom of "sound mind" ?
If mom is of sound mind have you told her that you are no longer able to SAFELY care for her and dad? And that they need to move to Assisted Living or Memory Care.
If neither is of sound mind and you have POA YOU can place them in AL or Memory Care. (whatever is best for the level of care that they need) This is a matter of safety yours and theirs.
If they are not of sound mind and you do not have POA then you will need an attorney (preferably one that is an Elder Care Attorney) and file for Guardianship. (If you do not want Guardianship then the State will appoint a Guardian and they will then be "Wards of the State" and the Court Appointed Guardian will make ALL decisions regarding their care and where they will live)