Preface: I'm REALLY exhausted, so my patience is shorter than normal. In all honesty, I'm not a really patient person as is.

So, I'm at the point where I'm tired of repeating the same answer over and over again to Dad regarding his eating situation. When I moved him from the Independent Living Side of his facility to the Assisted Living side, the staff agreed to allow Dad to continue to have meals in the Independent Living dining area so he could still see his friends that lived on that side of the building.

The Assisted Living side has full breakfast every morning, so Dad quickly got accustomed to eating breakfast on the AL side and having lunch and dinner on the other side...until the Independent Living side decided to change meal times. We survived that confusion, but when Dad had his "oxygen tantrum" a few months ago, he was mistakenly ordering food from the Independent Living side to be delivered to his room -- a major no-no because the budget / rules are different for each side of the facility.

One of the staff members tried to explain to Dad that he could still eat in either dining room, but if he wanted food brought up, he would need to ask someone on the AL side to bring it to him. That's easy enough for someone with regular cognition, but this has TOTALLY confused him. He even got to the point where he didn't eat a couple of days because he couldn't keep it straight. Of course, the staff alerted me, and I've tried every way I can possibly think of to help him understand, but he's just NOT getting it.

Furthermore, every time he sees the staff member that initially tried to explain the rules to him, it's like they've never had the conversation. So when Dad called today and told me that she got frustrated when he asked her where he should eat, I could relate.

I literally have to explain this several times a week and it's driving me bananas. I've gotten short with him because I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THE DA** DINNER LOCATION!!!

It's times like these where I wish his sight was better, so he could read written reminders.

Maybe it would be easier if Dad didn't have SOOO many things going against him. Dementia, being legally blind, hard of hearing with end stage COPD takes its toll on everyone!!!

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SharynMarie... well, Dad has 7 other living children out of the total of 13 offspring from multiple women, but I am the ONLY one who's been blessed with caring for him... go figure.

Jeannegibbs, I am actually going to have another "Care Plan Meeting" with the AL. There have been some staff changes and things are falling through the cracks. I'm sure they would be happy to charge me extra... but we can't afford it. My doctor has told me that I must cut back on working so much which means that I'm going to have to figure out how to continue funding his care...
Helpful Answer (0)

More than likely you could get assistance to help Dad into the correct dining room at the right time, or to order his meal from the correct dining room -- for an additional charge. That is probably not part of the standard care package at the ALF.
Helpful Answer (2)

I was thinking the same things as Sharyn above regarding the Staff.

Where my Dad lived, there was the Independent Living dining room in it's own building, and across the covered porch was the Assisted Living dining room, and a separate Memory Care dining room. At least my Dad didn't ask to go back to IL to eat, he liked his new male dinner mates at Memory Care.

With Memory Care, usually there is one Aide assigned to a group of residents. Maybe the Aide can help Dad with the meal schedule. Of course, it depends on how busy she is with the other residents.

I know what you mean by patience. I use to be the most patience person until my very elderly parents started to try my patience. There were times I would explode because I was so darn frustrated. My parents knew what buttons to push at times... [sigh].

When Dad was in senior living, eventually we give up putting up notes for him. But he knew when dinner time was, and gang way, don't get in front of his walker if he was heading to the dining room :))
Helpful Answer (1)

Just wondering why the staff can't provide a more assistance at dinner time considering his issues. Do you have family available who can take turns getting him situated at dinner time?
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