Any suggestions on best way to move my dad from assisted living to memory care?

I went through a similar situation with my dad. Mom and dad were sharing a room in assisted living and it was becoming clear that dad needed to be in memory care. After mom died (Dad was with her when she died by quickly forgot) I signed him up for memory care in the same facility. It took a few days for an opening. As soon as I got the call I had the staff keep him busy in the lobby and me and the maintenance guy moved his stuff in about three trips, hung his pictures on the wall and had his fav country music playing.

I simply told him I’d gotten him a better room and he never missed a beat. His short term memory was less than a minute at this point. There was absolutely no point in discussing the move with him. I would’ve gone through the scenario every five minutes.

Madge20, when it was time to move my Dad from Independent Living to their Memory Care, I told him the cost would be a lot cheaper [even though it wasn't] and any way Dad can save money would do it in a heart beat. He was ready to move.


I did make sure that all of Dad's beloved books had space in his new room in Memory Care. The room was smaller, Dad would joke it was his "college dorm room" :)

If you are going to tell him do it on the day of the move because of loss of time knowledge. A resident in my mom's place had to move. Get help from others. The resident had lunch with a family member who stayed for a couple of hours. Other friends and family moved the stuff from the old apartment into the exact locations to the new apartment. The rest of the family joined the resident for th e new transition. In your case, have mom join at transition time and see if she can join him for the next meal.

Let the facility professionals handle it.
Act like he got an upgrade and you are happy for him!

Depending on his memory and how he reacts to the change he may ask for an explanation more than once. If the explanation is disturbing him and he is "re-mourning" this news every time, then consider telling him a therapeutic fib, which is morally and ethically acceptable. It's merciful.

Honestly.
You tell him honestly. Do not expect that he will not exhibit grief, anger, denial, shock. This is tough stuff and it is well worth grieving and mourning.

You may request the admin to sit with you and discuss this with him, their inability to provide him with the care that he requires to keep him safe. This admin has experience in this and can make it clear that this is not an option, that his wife will be visiting, and that he will have the best care they can provide him.

Not everything can be fixed This is tough stuff. This will be painful in the extreme for all of you.

Your dad doesn’t need to be told all the details. It depends on how advanced his dementia is, also. It’s easy to give too much information that only results in anxiety that might be avoided. When we moved my dad to MC from AL, we had one family member get him out for a bit so we could set his new place up without worrying and confusing him. We told him his old place was being renovated and he would be staying in a different apartment for awhile. We also stayed with him for supper the first night (different dining area) and visited for a short time. He adjusted very well. It may take some time but your dad will adjust. Also, as the dementia progresses, these changes are less upsetting to your loved one.

How much is he going to retain and for how long???
You can explain all you want and most likely he will not retain the explanation for a long term.
If at all possible could mom have him visit the MC unit a few times so he gets used to the staff and the residents.
Tell him "mom has to go to the doctor and you can stay here for a while"
A few visits and I am sure he will adjust better to being there full time.

https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/easing-transition-to-memory-care

Above is an article with tips for you to transition your dad from AL to MC.

Best of luck to you

What does the agency say first that's what they get the big bucks for.