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How does one deal with the anger that comes from being alone with a spouse in long term care? It is difficult knowing that person will not ever come back to our home.

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Anger is one of the 5 Stages of grief: Shock, Bargaining, Anger, Depression and Acceptance. While you didn't expect to be living alone at this point in your life, your husband didn't expect to get dementia and need long term care, either. Old age can be a very difficult path to navigate for all concerned, that's for sure. My mother wound up with advanced dementia and living in Memory Care Assisted Living. She'd say all the time, "Who ever thought I'd wind up like this?" Truthfully, not many folks live to 95 as she did, so illness and disease go with the territory. She could've died of cancer at 50, but she didn't look at things that way.

See if you can find a grief support group to join locally. And a book club. And perhaps volunteer your time reading to children in the hospital. Visit your husband at his residence as you are able, too. He still loves you, and you him, so if possible, spend some time together. This journey is tough and I'm so sorry for your pain and suffering.

Best of luck to you.
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AlvaDeer Aug 25, 2024
Beautiful answer, Lea.
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So you are living with him in LTC? If so why? If that is the case I would move back into your home and visit him as you want to.

If that is not the case would you please provide us with more information.
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Anger is one of the many stages of grieving and yes my dear, you are grieving even though your spouse is still alive.
It's called anticipatory grief and requires the same attention as when a loved one dies, which of course is grief counseling.
There are local Grief Share groups in your area, and of course you can seek out individual therapy sessions as well.
Seeking out a caregiver support group may be helpful too. You can "Google" to see if there are any in your area.
It's going to be ok and you're going to be ok. You are stronger than you know.
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