I posted earlier about my 73 year old mother and how my one brother and I are taking care of her. Well, now she is in a rehab after a hospital stay for many issues. My brother went to her house and cleaned the bathroom (disgusted by the mess) and vaccuumed. He also took pics of how she is living. The house is the same house they bought in 1973 and we were all raised in. It's really falling apart since my dad died. Mom is unable to do her laundry and clean the house and she eats sandwiches and has a diet of a 20 year old. I told my brother on the phone that he is enabling her just like dad did. He knows this and says he cannot let her live the way she is living. I didn't mention yet about me moving across country. Mom has a social disorder and anxiety disorder. Hard to get along with. She has an addictive personality. She quit smoking 20 years ago but still chews nicotine gum. Refuses to get her shoulder and teeth fixed. She is loving life at rehab with all the attention. I feel anger and resentment towards her because we all told her 20 years ago she needs to take care of herself due to MS. She never did and now we are all suffering the consequences. Oh, she refuses therapy for her issues. Her medical doctor is a quack who prescribes her any drug she wants. We had a hard time getting her off Narco and now the rehab place has her back on it per her request. What do we do? Thanks.

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Barb is spot on. Time for an honest sit down with the social worker. Spell out that mom isn’t safe in her home and that care from family isn’t available. This sounds harsh but it will take that to effect change. Sounds like brother is burnt out but doesn’t know what to do about it, hopefully he’ll let you come alongside and help him see that change needs to happen now.
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Just to add, that if she is loving life at rehab, why would she want to leave?

This sounds like a win/win situation!
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I'm glad your brother understands that he cannot let her live the way she has been living.

He should show the pictures to the social worker at rehab.

He should tell rehab that you and he will no longer be available to prop her up at home because you are moving and ask their advice about getting her placed in a facility permanently.
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