Can you recommend a counselor for myself, the caregiver?

I'm curious about why you want to pursue counseling rather than finding a place where your mother would be cared for 24/7 by professional eldercare employees.

Of course, you could go to a counselor as well as find mom a facility. Why not do both? Mom would have friends, activities, outings, and a team of helpers, and you could be enjoying retirement. All at the same time! You deserve to enjoy what you and husband have worked for. You don't have to sacrifice your life for hers.

PsychologyToday.com provides a “find a therapist” search. .

Google and look for a therapist who does EMDR therapy. That is my suggestion. Good luck. I support you.

I would ask your doctor for a recommendation in your area.
See to it that your counselor has experience in life transitions work, and the problems you come to her/him with. For instance, I am currently seeing a counselor whose entire specialty is working with cancer patients. For me, given that is the subject I am dealing with, this is a boon, and makes the connection every so much more helpful.

Your primary doctor can refer you to a Therapist / social worker who can help you navigate elder services or assisted Living .

If it is guilt you need counseling for, you have nothing to feel guilty about, you didn't make your mom old, you deserve to live your life. Often times grief over watching are loved ones age is confused with guilt.

I was serious burnt out a year ago much of that reason was because, even though I'm not quite retirement age, my husband is and he didn't want me working because he wanted to spend this time with both of us, then because I wasn't working, my family put it all on me, which turned into me working for my mom for free and my husband retiring alone, which wasn't the plan

Though counseling, this forum, self help books I was able to figure out a much better balance.

I'm not sure if this helps or if this is your question, best thing to do is ask your doctor maybe for counseling suggestions.

You signed up for a caregiver forum here. We are just a bunch of current or firmer caregivers to our elderly loved ones who come to this forum to ask and answer questions. Your best bet is to Google therapists in your area and read reviews, or ask your PCP for a referral.

The majority of us would also suggest Assisted Living for mom or Skilled Nursing if her care needs are beyond the scope of what AL offers. Your life matters too.

Good luck to you.