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Mammajae Asked January 2023

How do you transition to feeding someone?

I have a mother-in-law with Parkinson's and dementia. She makes a mess with her food and drink. She should be fed, but I don't know if she will let me.

BuffyRoberts Jan 2023
Use your hand over or under hers to help guide utensils to her mouth. She may let you help in that way.

Taarna Jan 2023
Your best option may to ask your LO's doctor for a referral to a speech therapist. The speech therapist can evaluate swallowing - something that degrades as PD progresses - and recommend the best diet consistency and tools to help with feeding. Your LO may be more willing to allow you to feed him/her after this evaluation.

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Llamalover47 Jan 2023
Mammajae: Perhaps you can do a test run to see how it presents. Also, specialized spoons are available for the patient to maintain a level of independence, but quite possibly your MIL's skill level could not accommodate them.

KPWCSC Jan 2023
I would try handling it like I did with my children learning to eat. Allow her to continue to try while you also feed her bites and sips between the ones she manages on her own. With my children I was trying to help them become independent without a complete mess, where with an adult I would be trying to help them adjust and accept my feeding as their abilities decline. Hopefully in time she may decide it is a lot easier to accept your help.

As others have suggested, there are special utensils that may help along with a consultation with an Occupational Therapist. The therapist can recommend items appropriate for her needs and perhaps some may even be covered by Medicare if prescribed. A consultation with a nutritionist may help you find the most appropriate foods for her that would be less messy.

JoAnn29 Jan 2023
There are special utensils made for Parkinsons. They are specialy balanced. It a spoon it moves with the tremor, i think. I agree to ask her doctor for an order for a therapist to come and help you determine what type of utensils would be best for her. A little PT may help too.

TouchMatters Jan 2023
You might need to ask her medical care provider for a 'home nurse' (or other medically trained professional) visit to assist you in figuring this out. They have a lot of experience and will be able to support you.

* You likely won't know if she'll let you until you try.
- Do that with lots of kind words, gentleness, compassion. She will pick up on how you feel, touch, speak to her.
- If she pushes you away, don't negatively respond. Perhaps stop for a moment and look into her eyes and smile and say: "It's okay. We'll get through this TOGETHER" -
- She needs assurance she isn't alone.
- Her anxiety (and of the unknown(s) need to be acknowledged by you through patient compassion.

* Hopefully between a medically trained professional and you compassionately working with her, she will soon / eventually ease up her (possible) resistance to this support - if she resists at all. She may not.

* Please note I do not have any personal experience in this specific area. Others responding likely do.

Gena / Touch Matters

vegaslady Jan 2023
Is she having excessive tremors? Can this be addressed with her neurologist adjusting her meds? Can she use any adaptive utensils? Have you consulted an Occupational Therapist? Are there any swallowing issues?

AnnReid Jan 2023
Has she determined that she “should be fed”?

Or a dietician?

Or a speech/language/swallowing therapist?

lealonnie1 Jan 2023
Try it and see.

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