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As others have suggested, there are special utensils that may help along with a consultation with an Occupational Therapist. The therapist can recommend items appropriate for her needs and perhaps some may even be covered by Medicare if prescribed. A consultation with a nutritionist may help you find the most appropriate foods for her that would be less messy.
* You likely won't know if she'll let you until you try.
- Do that with lots of kind words, gentleness, compassion. She will pick up on how you feel, touch, speak to her.
- If she pushes you away, don't negatively respond. Perhaps stop for a moment and look into her eyes and smile and say: "It's okay. We'll get through this TOGETHER" -
- She needs assurance she isn't alone.
- Her anxiety (and of the unknown(s) need to be acknowledged by you through patient compassion.
* Hopefully between a medically trained professional and you compassionately working with her, she will soon / eventually ease up her (possible) resistance to this support - if she resists at all. She may not.
* Please note I do not have any personal experience in this specific area. Others responding likely do.
Gena / Touch Matters
Or a dietician?
Or a speech/language/swallowing therapist?