Hi. I'm 24 , living just with my father. Trying to work full time while helping my dad, but it's so hard to always work, cook healthy and keep up around the house. Please any advice on balancing cooking healthy meals / working/ thanks so much!
Dad should manage what he eats, but your healthy offerings will help. The process cannot be reversed. You need to keep a full time job. Dad will most likely need transportation to and from dialysis. Try not to enable him and let him figure this out even if it is by Uber. Offer only what you are willing to do. See if his appountments can correspond with your drive to or from work. Start learning about Medicaid and disability support and have him file early. Do not pay his bills which is a terrible mistake.
The age of 24 is young and you are vulnerable to being a pushover. Your life is yours to do what you want and it does not mean that you should be a slave to his life. Save for your future and find someone to create your own family. Just do not become a slave to dad.
Seagroves, you are a kind and caring daughter to take this on. Your dad made poor choices, and now you feel that you must take care of him. That's a terrible burden for anyone of any age. This is very early in the game with him, and here's my advice:
(1) Once a parent moves in, it's often hard, impossible in certain cases, to move them out again. Dad could live many more years. That will impact your life, and not in a good way. Once they take root, they take over. You deserve to get on with your own life, not get caught up in his misery (which is a result of his bad choices in the first place). (2) He should be doing the very best he can not to be a burden. Running errands, shopping, cleaning, cooking for two of you - he can do those things unless he's too sick, and in that case he should be in assisted living already. Don't fall into the trap of becoming his surrogate wife and slave. (3) Get enthusiastic about finding a wonderful independent or assisted living where he can have a social life, someone else caters to his needs, and you can be there whenever you feel like visiting. Talk it up, go to see some, get him on board.
Dad will become more needy as time goes by. His health may or may not improve. If it doesn't, you don't want to be the one changing his adult diapers and learning how to transfer him from his wheelchair to the car and back again, and then there's helping him with his physical and occupational therapy, and adapting your home for a handicapped person, and bathing him, etc. Because this is what caregiving is, and you don't want to spend the rest of his life doing it.
Read LOTS of posts on here, in different categories. You'll understand what I'm telling you even better.
Your father shouldn't need you to be his caregiver, as he's still to healthy(and young)if he only has diabetes. And like others have said, if he himself is not working, he can do the work that needs to be done around the house including the cooking and you need to keep your job as you're too young to not have a life. And if he doesn't cook, he can order healthy meals to be delivered online. Also your father can look into having his dialysis done at home as many doctors/hospitals offer that option now. They will train him how to set everything up and he can do it in the comfort of his own home. So while it's nice that you care about your father and his health, the last thing you will want to do is enable him in any way, so let him take responsibility for his health and his home and you just keep working and enjoying your life.
If Dad is on dialysis, starting to eat well now is not going to reverse the damage already done.
Your Dad is only 56 and even with his health problems should be able to do for himself. Do not disable him. There is training for diabetics see if your local hospital has classes. Call Office of Aging and see if they have info on how to keep ur diabetes in control. Its up to Dad to make sure he eats right and the foods he needs to accomplish that are in the home. He can order on-line and he can have it delivered or you can pick up on the way home from work. He should do as much as he can for himself.
Do not quit ur job to care for Dad. If he needs rides to and from dialysis then he needs to tell the coordinator that. Office of Aging should supply Senior bussing or know how to get it. You should be able to have a life after work. Do not allow your Dad to take up all of your time. Set boundries so he knows where you stand. Please, do not allow him to become dependent on you. Not good for him, not good for you.
You need to keep a full time job. Dad will most likely need transportation to and from dialysis. Try not to enable him and let him figure this out even if it is by Uber. Offer only what you are willing to do. See if his appountments can correspond with your drive to or from work. Start learning about Medicaid and disability support and have him file early. Do not pay his bills which is a terrible mistake.
The age of 24 is young and you are vulnerable to being a pushover. Your life is yours to do what you want and it does not mean that you should be a slave to his life. Save for your future and find someone to create your own family. Just do not become a slave to dad.
(1) Once a parent moves in, it's often hard, impossible in certain cases, to move them out again. Dad could live many more years. That will impact your life, and not in a good way. Once they take root, they take over. You deserve to get on with your own life, not get caught up in his misery (which is a result of his bad choices in the first place). (2) He should be doing the very best he can not to be a burden. Running errands, shopping, cleaning, cooking for two of you - he can do those things unless he's too sick, and in that case he should be in assisted living already. Don't fall into the trap of becoming his surrogate wife and slave. (3) Get enthusiastic about finding a wonderful independent or assisted living where he can have a social life, someone else caters to his needs, and you can be there whenever you feel like visiting. Talk it up, go to see some, get him on board.
Dad will become more needy as time goes by. His health may or may not improve. If it doesn't, you don't want to be the one changing his adult diapers and learning how to transfer him from his wheelchair to the car and back again, and then there's helping him with his physical and occupational therapy, and adapting your home for a handicapped person, and bathing him, etc. Because this is what caregiving is, and you don't want to spend the rest of his life doing it.
Read LOTS of posts on here, in different categories. You'll understand what I'm telling you even better.
And like others have said, if he himself is not working, he can do the work that needs to be done around the house including the cooking and you need to keep your job as you're too young to not have a life. And if he doesn't cook, he can order healthy meals to be delivered online.
Also your father can look into having his dialysis done at home as many doctors/hospitals offer that option now. They will train him how to set everything up and he can do it in the comfort of his own home.
So while it's nice that you care about your father and his health, the last thing you will want to do is enable him in any way, so let him take responsibility for his health and his home and you just keep working and enjoying your life.
Your Dad is only 56 and even with his health problems should be able to do for himself. Do not disable him. There is training for diabetics see if your local hospital has classes. Call Office of Aging and see if they have info on how to keep ur diabetes in control. Its up to Dad to make sure he eats right and the foods he needs to accomplish that are in the home. He can order on-line and he can have it delivered or you can pick up on the way home from work. He should do as much as he can for himself.
Do not quit ur job to care for Dad. If he needs rides to and from dialysis then he needs to tell the coordinator that. Office of Aging should supply Senior bussing or know how to get it. You should be able to have a life after work. Do not allow your Dad to take up all of your time. Set boundries so he knows where you stand. Please, do not allow him to become dependent on you. Not good for him, not good for you.