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fumbleonthetuna Asked January 2023

Dementia and scams. How can we protect those we care for?

Dad was scammed for 10k and then diagnosed with dementia. Any idea how we can protect mom in this? mom has locked him from her bank accounts and from being able to get anything out of their retirement fund. BUT Dad keeps finding ways to get money. His bank just gave him a loan for 2k even though they were given the information about the initial scam months ago and his dementia diagnosis. How can we stop this from happening?


He also said he is going to have his social security and pension changed to a new bank! That means their daily funds for living will be out of mom's hands. Is there a way she can prevent that from happening?


I feel like there has to be some sort of protection for mom in this, but I have no idea where to turn.


Thanks for your help!

JoAnn29 Jan 2023
I think a letter from his doctor saying that he is incompetent to make informed decisions may be enough for a bank. They then should flag his acct. I am with daughter. Did you tell an officer of the bank that Dad had been diagnosed with Dementia? If so, his acct should have been flagged then. If it was a window clerk, info may not have been given to the officer. I would ask the bank how he got a loan when they had been notified. Also, being married does he not need wife to sign. If the loan is in Dads name, Mom may not be required to pay it back if he passes so the Bank is out of the money. My SILs father took out a credit card in his name. When he passed, her mother was told she did not have to pay it back.

To protect Mom, I would see if she can become Dads payee even with the pension. SS does not recognize POA so u will need to find out what documentation she needs. If given payee status, she can change where the money is deposited thus being in control.

Its been said on the forum that when scammed, get a police report and keep as much info you can. If Dad ever needs Medicaid, that 10k could cause penalties. A police report will show it was not gifted.

Daughterof1930 Jan 2023
I would visit the banker who gave him the new loan and go off! And get to an elder law attorney quickly for further help

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freqflyer Jan 2023
fumbleonthetuna, curious how your Dad was scammed. Was it by telephone or on the computer?

My own Dad had a very sharp caregiver who would quietly be nearby any time Dad answered the telephone. She could tell if Dad was talking with relatives or if it was a spam call. When she heard Dad starting to give his social security number she quickly took the phone from him and listened, then started to quiz the caller, and eventually read the caller the "riot act".

One thing that can be done, have your parent's credit frozen. It's easy to do, go to the 3 top credit bureaus and type in "freeze credit' in the website search mode. When I froze my credit decades ago, the credit bureaus had asked me a series of multi-choice questions related to what is in said credit report. The credit bureau will give you a code number, keep said code in a safe place, as it would be needed if for some reason the credit needs to be temp unfrozen.

Geaton777 Jan 2023
Is anyone DPoA for your Dad? If so, this person needs to read the document and then do what is outlined in order for the PoA to become active (usually or 2 diagnosis of cognitive impairment). Then go to the bank as his PoA and discuss with a manager how to prevent him from having further access to money he shouldn't have.

My 93-yr old Mom kept way way too much money in her checking account and I was finally able to convince her to keep a minimum balance in it just enough to cover her bills or any surprise expenses.

97yroldmom Jan 2023
Fumble
Take mom to a certified elder attorney to see what options she has in your state.
If no one has his POA and he is deemed incompetent then there is probably little your mother can do beyond filing for guardianship.
Some scammers will give their target ideas on how to get more money and your dad does sound out of control. Your mother may have to take drastic actions in order to stop him and protect them both. I am sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds awful for you and your mom.

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