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havenofrest7777 Asked April 2021

How do we break the news that we're moving?

My husband and I are moving to another state. His parents reside in an assisted living, near our home and both have Mild Dementia. All their medical and financial needs are being met by their daughter whom is DPOA and resides near them. For psych/social and medical issues my husband must move. How would you suggest we break the news to them without having them feel deserted or abandoned? We wish to refrain from talking about medical issues based on their lack of cognition. My husband’s fondness for his parents is far less than his sister’s. Many years of turmoil and conflict.

JoAnn29 Apr 2021
With Dementia you don't want to give too much info. They can't process it. I would just say you won't be seeing them for while. Maybe they will ask where are you going. Then u can say out of state.

MargaretMcKen Apr 2021
My first thought is to go for the ‘therapeutic fib’. Without information about your ages this one might not work, but if DH is employed you can say something like ‘They’ve phased out his job here and he just has to move to another branch’. Then move smoothly on to how difficult the decision has been for you, and what arrangements you can make for future visits. Do they have suggestions about where you could stay when you come? What time of year would be best? Get them thinking about the future options, rather than wondering why you are going. Good luck!

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