My dad's house is in the process of being sold. We tried renting but neither person worked out. He decided to sell. When he first made the decision, he did not mention to me. I found out when I went to visit him one day at his facility and he had the deed to his house in his room. He had called the court house and they faxed it to him. The guy that wanted to buy had some issues with the process so he backed out. Now we have a potential buyer and everything is going as it should. I have worked hard to the get the house ready for inspection and etc. A few weeks ago the first potential buyer called and said he was interested again. Dad had told him to call me knowing that we are in the process with the current person. The reason I think he is trying to sabotage is because a family member told me to watch him because he will try to do that. This is very nerve wracking! He keeps talking about renting it again. I hope this all made sense. I'm about to lose my mind!!!!
I'm responding to your last reply. In regards to outside interference, he talks to alot of people. He is the one who tells what is going on. I do not let anyone know what I'm doing. The interference comes into play when he tells all of his business and they try to tell him how to handle it after I have already handled it. Then he tries to tell me I'm wrong. I know how to use the POA but I also know my dad and sometimes I do not trust him completely. He really did not want to sign the POA but that was part of the required paperwork for the facility. I do know that he talked to a lawyer afterwards to see how much "power" I had although he and I read over it together.
If your authority isn't actually active, then that's a whole other issue.
That's why you have a realtor.
The buyers should NOT be talking to the seller (s). Only in the presence of the realtor.
Explain to Dad that the real estate listing is a legal contract, it was his decision to sell.
Also explain that the original buyer must go through the real estate agent, and cannot get around it. The realtor may accept a back-up offer (in writing, money down), however, the fact he went to your Dad (and is still talking-maybe never had a written offer) is a red flag.
Get it in writing, with money down and a short escrow from a serious, qualified buyer.
Tell the realtor you have the POA power to sign if Dad waffles.
Are you concerned because another family member planted the idea?
The way I'm reading this is, you have a buyer and the deal is going smoothly. That's great. Then, the first potential buyer changes his mind and contacts your dad, who refers him to you, presumably because you are handling the deal, which Dad is trusting you to capably manage for him. I don't know, maybe Dad got mixed up on who this guy is, or he just didn't want to get involved in dealing with him, so he referred him to you.
It sounds like Dad is relying on you to manage this, without interference on his part. You already mention that dad has some forgetfulness. I would just proceed as you are. Dad is having trouble handling this and has put it in your hands because he trusts you. A person who is struggling with loss of cognitive function will "change their mind" or come up with contradictory ideas because they really don't remember.
With that said, tell your father you will not assist because as he has stated many times he is not considered mentally incapable. He is on his own 100%, You will no longer help get the house in order nor participate in the rental aspect of the house. Yep, he will become upset and possibly throw a temper tantrum. If that happens, calmly tell him you see he is upset and you will come back another day when he is more calm. Then leave.
Your mental health is priority. Refuse to be drawn into his manipulation. And, yes it will be difficult but it is necessary. He needs to understand that your help is vital and not to use manipulation to get what he wants. Actually, you will need to start manipulating him in a sense, LOL.
He is in a nursing home. He has tried many times over the years to sabotage things even before this. He has people thinking that I do not know how to do anything.. yet I'm the only one who visits regularly and has kept the house up, handled his business and etc.
The POA is immediate. Meaning it was invoked the moment he signed it. I would consult with a lawyer concerning what you can do in this instance. If it was me and I was told I had the power, I would sell it. See how your POA reads. My Moms said I could sell. Nothing about she had to have cognitivity problems and a doctor sign off needed.
He can’t stress you out unless you allow it due to lack of clear boundaries, or enmeshment, dysfunctional relationship, Rescuing, etc.
Then, I would hire a realtor.
From your profile you state he has a history of trying to manipulate you and your time, so why would this be any different? Is he just trying to get you to pay attention to him? Does he have a history of mental illness? Does he have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment? Seems like he has dementia... has he ever had the test at his primary care clinic appointment, at his annual Medicare wellness exam (which is free)?
Since you are an only child and he is single, do what I did with my Mom: go online and download 2 copies of the PoA doc for his state. Make sure it is durable and check all the boxes for authorities. Don't sign it yet. Tell him that if he wants your help he'll need to go to the notary with you to have both copies signed and legally finalized. If he doesn't do it, stop helping him unless you're a masochist. But don't make a threat you aren't willing and able to carry out.
If he doesn't have a PoA he may eventually become a ward of a court assigned 3rd party guardian because you won't have any power to help him. Make sure to tell him this.
You don't have to be a nervous wreck or lose your mind if you have a plan and boundaries. You must be willing to walk away if he jerks you around. Why stick around for that? You have the control: to be enabled to help him legally or to walk away and report him to APS.