Caring for parents, both 92 years old. Any advice?

Please don’t plan your actions or inactions on what your brother says he’s going to do. That’s something that may or may not happen, for his sake most everyone here will hope it doesn’t, but it’s not a plan to help you. Give up trying to discuss or reason anything out with your parents. They are beyond being able to do that and it becomes an endless loop of unproductive conversation for you. Dementia is not a reason you should stick around for verbal abuse. Leave immediately each time it happens, no explanation needed. And most of all, care for yourself and don’t put yourself in harms way, mentally or physically

There is more to your story in your profile. Many (a majority I'm sure) of the experienced caregivers on this forum will beg your brother to not move them into a house with him at their ages and in the cognitive conditions they are in. He will be overwhelmed in no time. If no one has PoA for either parent, then you cannot legally force them to do anything or make medical or financial decisions on their behalf. You cannot even force them to move out unless you go through an eviction process in the courts. If your father verbally threatens physical harm (or actually does it) to you or your BF, call 911 and they may "Baker Act" him and remove him to the hospital. When the hospital calls to come get him, you tell them he is an "unsafe discharge". You say you're a nurse yourself so hoping you are familiar with this. No matter how much pressure the hospital exerts through guilt or threats, do not allow him to come back to the home and make sure no one else in the family retrieves him. At that point the hospital's social workers will begin the process of placement (into a facility) and guardianship, if he is deemed cognitively incapacitated. This seems very harsh but you must read the posts under Burn Out on this forum for you and your family to understand what is awaiting you (and your unsuspecting brother). It won't solve anything to move them in with another person in another state. He will be overwhelmed if he has no legal authority to help them. No one knows if they can even afford in-home helpers (not that they'd allow it). Your father is becoming paranoid about his family's intentions, which is classic dementia/ALZ behavior. It won't get better! Only worse! Also, the family must be very careful about if they are financially supporting your parents: they may very well need Medicaid at some point and the application "look back" period can be up to 5 years depending on what state they live in. Anything that looks like financial "gifting" from your family to them or visa versa could delay or disqualify them from the only helpful option left when they'd need it the most. No one in your family is obligated to provide personal care to them, even if it is a cultural norm. Trying to transition them into a care community does NOT mean you don't love them. There is just no point in everyone orbiting around them just so they can age inside someone's home. Please take to heart the comments that are sure to follow mine. And believe them. They know what they're talking about! I wish you much wisdom and peace in your heart as you move forward.