He’s out in his car upset because of me and hasn’t driven in two months. I’m so worried. I yelled at him. I should not have. Advice?

I know how hard it is to be living with and caring for someone with Alzheimer's. I feel for you. No one is perfect though. Everyone gets angry and yells once in a while. You're not the only one so please don't beat yourself up about it and have so much guilt.
Also, stop praying that your husband comes home safe. If he has Alzheimer's even if it's mild right now and in the early stages, he cannot be driving a car. That puts him in danger and also every other innocent person in the area where he's driving. Other drivers, pedestrians taking a walk, children playing outside.... Those car keys have to be taken away.

Please, don't be hard on yourself. This is a desease that is so hard to deal with. Its so unpredictable. You never know what the person will do or say. I had a very hard time seeing any humor in it.

Your husband may forget what happened. You need to forgive yourself. May be time to oversee everything he does. I was the child who could be made to feel guilty. I refused to allow myself to feel guilt with my Mom. I was the only child doing the hands on caring. The one who was here. Patience I don't have, got that from Mom. Mom is gone and when I get those guilt feelings, I push them back. I did what I could the best I could.

Please don't beat yourself up over this. You are only human for crying out loud. I would have screamed too, had I walked on hot ash unexpectedly. Those of us that are or have been a caregiver for a loved one for any length of time, have at one point or another yelled at our loved over something. It comes with the territory. And yes, we all feel bad after we do it. I remember one time last year when I lost my patience with my husband who had vascular dementia, and hollered at him. I immediately felt bad and when in to apologize to him, and he didn't even remember the incident. But I did, so I still apologized. We all do the best we can and that's all we can do. If it's just getting to be too much for you, then perhaps it's time to looking for the appropriate facility to place him in, where you won't have to worry about him taking off in the car. That right now, would be my main concern, as someone with Alzheimer's driving a car is an accident waiting to happen. Or God forbid he gets lost, and can't find his way back home. You need to either take his keys away, or if it's a vehicle that only he drives, have someone take the battery out, so it won't start if he were to try to drive it in the future. Wishing you the best. None of what you're doing, caring for someone with Alzheimer's is easy, so please be gentle on yourself. God bless you.

Pam, it's perfectly understandable to get upset when stepping on a hot ember. You are only human please don't be so hard on yourself.

Your husband is probably upset with himself right now because you got burned by the ember. That's okay, because that is also a natural reaction. After you both calm down I think you will both see it was just an accident, and move past it.

Now that you know your husband may grab the keys and go when he gets upset, I think it's time to hide the keys. Also you can anonymously report him to the DMV so they can require he have a driving evaluation, and also revoke his license if he is not safe to drive.

Please let us know how it goes, and how you are doing.