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Tiafiona Asked February 2020

My 84-year-old mom punched me in the nose during an argument. I take care of her and my dad a few days a week. anyone ever experienced this?

Tiafiona Feb 2020
Thank you for all of the answers and good advice. It means alot to get the opinions of others in similar situations .

lealonnie1 Feb 2020
Well, you may have to rethink your care giving duties if your mother is inclined to punch you in the nose during an argument! In my opinion, it doesn't matter what you were arguing about, or if the argument was 'necessary' or unnecessary......it happened. And it also happened that she chose to punch you in the face, which is not acceptable behavior. Once you get her evaluated for dementia/cognitive decline, then you can see how you'd like to proceed. But if it were me, I'd look into getting in home caregivers a few days a week instead of going over there myself. Limit your visits to socializing and shooting the breeze.

By the way, did she apologize and/or acknowledge her behavior and that it was inappropriate? That's an important question which indicates her level of comprehension.

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JoAnn29 Feb 2020
If this is something new, get her to the doctor for a urine test. It could be a UTI. Or, she needs to be evaluated for cognitive decline.

Even though u help, Mom is with Dad most of the time. Is he demanding. At 84 hard to keep up with a demanding person. My Dad was one. As my daughter likes to say "she made that monster".

Was you argument really necessary? Were u trying to tell her what to do or the other way around. No one likes to be told after years of doing something one way they need to do it another way. I told my 90 yr old MIL that they no longer recommend letting ur turkeys sit out to thaw. She told me to mind my own business. She also stuffed the turkey the night before. I texted my SIL what was going on. The next day after the meal she texted "are u still alive?". Another SIL has a habit of "taking over". Her way is the best.

So analyzed that argument. Is there something you could have just let go. Was it a problem you felt needed to be addressed but you came at it the wrong way. Remember in Moms mind your the daughter. You don't tell her what to do.

Pasa18 Feb 2020
I hope you have recovered. She may be beginning cognitive decline and feeling out of control. Have this noted with her doctor.

Countrymouse Feb 2020
I'm sure my mother was tempted, sometimes, but no she never hit me.

Are you sure she meant her punch to connect? You must have been pretty close to her for it to land. What was happening?

MAYDAY Feb 2020
Sounds like you got in her face about something... maybe pushing a subject too far that she was uncomfortable with? You two were arguing...
If taking care of your mom is coming to blows,,, perhaps, you need to rethink the situation seriously.. Can they go to Adult Day CAre a Couple times a week?
Perhaps, both of you need a break from each other or the situation.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
I have not experienced physical abuse from my mom. I am so sorry that you have. You must have been shocked. Has she ever done this before with you or anyone else?

Does she have cognitive issues? What brought on her attacking you? I would be concerned. Does she strike out at your dad? Do they live alone?

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