Follow
Share

I have a 86 year old father with Advanced Dementia. I have 2 companion caregivers besides myself that help take care of him. He is very aggressive and threatening. His doctor told me that it is time to consider placing him in a nursing home. He refuses to listen to me about this and will not even consider it. With the Medical POA that I have and the doctor's evaluation along with APS evaluation stating that he is legally incompetent can I have him placed in a nursing home? And if so how do I do this? I cannot continue taking care of him. It has put a toll on myself and my family. I just want the best for my father. He is very very hard to deal with. I really need some advice on this situation.

You look online or you ask your father's doctor to recommend facilities with memory care units, or dementia care units (there are various names meaning the service has specialist knowledge of caring for people with dementia).

You find out what you can about them, pick the ones you like the look of, then you call them and ask to speak to the Admissions Office. The people there will guide you through the process.

You already have absolutely every authority you need to make this happen. Including, by the way, to set your mind at rest, your father's permission: he gave you Medical POA so that you could make the right decisions for him when he couldn't do it himself. This terrible time is exactly what he prepared for in advance.

Feel better, and I hope you find a place you're happy with very quickly.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Countrymouse
Report
needtowashhair Mar 20, 2019
The way that a POA is written, the grantor can take away that permission at any time. Just like you can fire a lawyer, you can fire a POA. From OP's post, her dad is opposed to all this. POA is a convenience to allow someone to act on someone's behalf, not to allow them to override that person's wishes. That's what guardianship is for.

As I said earlier, it really depends on whether her dad wants to fight it. Then it's a matter of how competent her dad is, what the POA agreement says and what the laws are where he is.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Guardianship is very expensive. I had no problem dealing with Medicaid or anyone for that matter with my POA.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
needtowashhair Mar 20, 2019
It's not a matter of anyone having a problem with the POA except for one. That's the person that granted it. They can revoke it at anytime. Which is a problem since OP's dad is opposed to going to the nursing home. So he can simply revoke the POA at any time. You can't force the grantor to do something with a POA. That's what guardianship is for. Taking someone's liberty is a high hurdle. That's why it's hard to get guardianship.
(0)
Report
POA’s are great but being appointed guardian ship is better because that way you can handle everything without any questions it’s a little bit harder to get then a POA the guardianship is the best thing to get that I find in the guardianship covers everything some states are harder than others to get but I would check into it good luck and God bless
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Scarlettrene
Report

It depends what powers are granted to you in the POA. Many confuse POA with guardianship. They are not the same. A POA is far more limited. Like an attorney, you are your dad's agent to execute his wishes. But when he becomes incapacitated or incompetent you operate independently in his best interest. So if he is declared incompetent and your POA allows for it, then you may be able to place him in a nursing home. The hurdle is whether you can meet the requirement of having him declared incompetent. Will he fight it? Many people with advanced dementia can still be with it enough to fight it. For example, he can simply revoke the POA. Even if he thinks he's living on Mars, if he can coherently understand that he doesn't want to go to a nursing home and states he no longer wants you to have POA, then he can probably succeed in revoking it.

So a lot depends on how much of a fight he puts up. I suggest you consult with an attorney to see what is the best way to proceed based on what your POA agreement says and what the laws are in your state.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to needtowashhair
Report

Does he have money. NH will cost about 10k a month. If he has some, go and check out some places. Look for friendly staff, cleanliness of the facility and residents. Do the residents look fairly happy. Do they smile when u say hi. Do they have an activity area? A nice visiting area in and out of the facility. When you pick one, talk to admitting. Tell them you have money for a certain amount of time but will need Medicaid in the future. If they are willing to take Dad then go talk to Medicaid just to make sure what the criteria you need to meet. You can't apply to Medicaid until your ready to use it. In NJ I had 90 days to find a place and spend down Moms money.

Since you have proof of incompetence, your POA is in effect and yes you can put Dad in a NH. Its now what he needs and not what he wants.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report
shad250 Mar 19, 2019
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter