I’ve taken care of his parents who have both passed. I’ve welcomed and took him into my own home. 3yrs later. (Current) he’s been getting verbally nasty with my children. Last week he grabbed my little 5yr old girl by the arm and yelled in her ear because “her voice is too loud”. I called the police made a report. I rent a room to him. I'm also his in-home supportive service IHAA provider. I'm his representative. A day ago he swung a cane at my family member, he started yelling. I was called downstairs to help my family as soon as I come down client calls me a few nasty words and reaches for my neck and yes chokes me. I did my best to defend myself all while my brother was trying to get him off me . My kids are traumatized from last week especially from a day ago. I feel stuck. I called police made a report The ambulance took him to hospital because he’s disabled and dont think jail is the right place for him because of a stroke. From 20+ years ago? Idk if he’d be checked in for 5150. I call the hospital to speak with him because he hasn’t anyone else. I don’t know how to go about any of this situation.
I’ve read countless articles and am having a hard time to find help in my defense as everything is related to and for elder getting abuse. The thing is I and my family are being abused. Not the other way. Help! Open to all suggestions
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Do not be sucked in by their platitudes of they can provide help and you can "make this work" together. They won't and you can't.
Placement is now the only answer.
I would resign as "Representative" whatever that is, as well. And you will of course now not be getting his rental or his caregiver stipend if that is being paid to you.
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Just tell all concerned that you are no longer able to care for him.
Im sure they will keep asking to discharge him to you but DO NOT SIGN ! Tell all that you can not have him live with you and they must find a place for him.
They will find a Nursing Home to release him to.
Your intentions were admirable, and you've given this man a good three years of highest quality, family based care. I'm just sorry it went so horribly wrong for you, and I hope eventually there will be an explanation of what happened to him, medically or psychologically, to alter his behaviour as it did.
But enough! The hospital will stabilise him, but do not take him back into your own home. Contact whichever social services office deals with his support, explain what has happened, and hand him back: there are systems to take care of people who have no support network of their own. You just can't give him a second chance around your kids.
Stop calling to check on him.
Google landlord laws in your state. Someone who is only renting a room in an owner occupied house is a lodger, not a tenant. Find out about evicting a lodger, which is usually easier than a tenant eviction.
Consider posting a question on a landlord message board (Biggerpockets, mrlandlord.com, etc.) about getting him out. Personally, I would consult a real estate attorney for confirmation, but those landlords know their stuff, and message boards allow more experienced landlords to correct the less experienced people so you should get the right answer.
Surely, SURELY there are exceptions to usual notice periods when a lodger assaults someone living in the house, particularly if that someone is a child.
(And, for the record, I wouldn't care at all if he just had a UTI and that was his excuse for bad behavior. Someone who puts his hands on my child -- or me, for that matter -- has forfeited his right to remain happily in my home.)
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