If I am POA of everything and my mom's 24/7 caregiver and I have a sister that wants to take my mom out but I don't trust, can I deny her?
She plays on her onset of dementia ans she has said horrible and done horrible things to her in past. Do I have legal right to deny her to take her out?
If you are the only one with DPOA and your mom has been diagnosed with dementia then you have the right to prevent your sister from taking her anywhere but she also has no power to do anything like change those legalities or keep/move mom if that's what your worried about. If you both have DPOA that may be a different story and if you have POA without the Durable attached it could be a little trickier as well, though again if you are the only one you should have a much easier time getting guardianship. If the concern is that sister is talking bad about you while she's alone with mom and trying to get some of those legalities changed (take POA) and it's documented that mom has dementia legally mom is no longer able to change things.
If the concern is that your sister is abusive to mom, that's a whole different story and certainly exercise your standing as both her caregiver and DPOA to only allow the contact you are comfortable with. I'm guessing things between you and your sister are less than ideal so perhaps another third person could be there whenever your sister visits if you are willing to facilitate that. If she isn't actually abusive to your mom and your mom gets something out of seeing her daughter I would urge you to try and put your anger aside at least enough not to prevent all contact but absolutely be cautious about it. Besides if you can find a way for your sister to have visits it provides you with some time and reason for getting some time for yourself.
You should determine what sort of visits with mom are appropriate. Mom is in early stages of dementia? Mom still would have the legal right to make her own decisions. Does she want to spend time with sis? Legally, you cannot stop her. In fact, sis could call APS to report that you are isolating mom. Then you could end up in legal trouble yourself.
Try to remember that you can only use POA if mom is determined incompetent.
Laststraw, are you saying that your sister is saying horrible things to your Mom? Did your sister tell you that, did you witness that, or is this is something that your Mom has told you? Please note it is not uncommon for someone who has dementia to make up stories.
I would hate to deny your sister the right to take her Mom out, if this was all Mom's doing. Eventually there will come a time when your sister will find it difficult to handle Mom when going out, and will decide to visit her just at home.
I hope your sister is helping you with the caregiving? I suppose by her taking Mom out gives you a bit of a breather.
No one is helping me an that is fine an my dad past 3 months ago an it came from both an I witnessed it an called cops an she is now playing on my moms memory an I don't feel comfortable with it
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If the concern is that your sister is abusive to mom, that's a whole different story and certainly exercise your standing as both her caregiver and DPOA to only allow the contact you are comfortable with. I'm guessing things between you and your sister are less than ideal so perhaps another third person could be there whenever your sister visits if you are willing to facilitate that. If she isn't actually abusive to your mom and your mom gets something out of seeing her daughter I would urge you to try and put your anger aside at least enough not to prevent all contact but absolutely be cautious about it. Besides if you can find a way for your sister to have visits it provides you with some time and reason for getting some time for yourself.
Try to remember that you can only use POA if mom is determined incompetent.
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Allow only supervised visits, but no going out.
I would hate to deny your sister the right to take her Mom out, if this was all Mom's doing. Eventually there will come a time when your sister will find it difficult to handle Mom when going out, and will decide to visit her just at home.
I hope your sister is helping you with the caregiving? I suppose by her taking Mom out gives you a bit of a breather.