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Soberdaughter Asked October 2018

Mother is very critical and complains a lot to ALF staff about the food, how cold it is in the dining room how unhappy she is. Any suggestions?

I just moved my parents to an ALF in March 2018. At first they were really happy with everything, the food the staff the apartment, now alls she does when I make my weekly visit is complain. Help!

MargaretMcKen Oct 2018
Try to find out if things have really changed, or if it is just your mother's behaviour that's different. Do talk with any of the other residents? Or long term staff? It's a different issue if it's just your mother. Was it all new and interesting at first, and has she got really bored?

Countrymouse Oct 2018
Are you more worried that...

her complaints are justified
or
something has changed within her to make her unhappy and dissatisfied when there isn't really a problem?

As a starting point, what does your father think of the place?
And, you mention that your mother is complaining a lot to the ALF's staff. How are they responding?

Do you have concerns about your mother's state of mental and physical health besides this? Why was the decision made for them to move into the ALF?

Oh dear, I know that's a lot of questions to fire at you, I'm sorry; but the better we understand what's been going on the more people will be able to make helpful suggestions.

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JoAnn29 Oct 2018
Maybe its her Dementia talking. Check to see if they changed cooks.

Caregiverhelp11 Oct 2018
Maybe they've changed some things since you moved her in.
I know the Nursing Home my Mother is in was a lot better
when I first moved her in. The food was decent, now it is very
unappetizing and bland all the time and my Mother has no diet
restrictions. They just make it bland for everyone. Much easier for them that way. The Aides don't seem to be as tentative as they
once were. Lots more turn over now.

So, It's possible she has a reason to complain. The only thing you can do is visit more often at lunch time and bring some food from home, something she really likes and doesn't get at the nursing home.

It's hard. My poor Mother doesn't complain because she doesn't want to put us out, but I know her well enough, and am observant enough to figure out what is going on. Hopefully you can find a way to make her more content with things.
MargaretMcKen Oct 2018
I wonder if ownership changed? Things are often made to look terrific in a build up to a sale, and just as often new owners are there to make more money.

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