What I do with my grandma is offer to get her dressed. Once my grandma is dressed for bed at that time and tucked in for the night even if it's to watch TV (She doesn't watch TV much but I do) she relaxes knowing where she is for the night. Sometimes I'll tell her its raining and I don't want her getting sick or I tell her that I don't want her alone at night so she has to stay the night with me. Sometimes I change things up and tell her that she's having a sleepover and she gets to stay with me. It really depends on her mood and how old she thinks she is and what's going on throughout the day. The rain one usually works well and snow does when it's cold. She hates going out in teh elements. I usually do tack on that she lives here with me and I always take care of her. She will usually answer, "I didn't know how. When did that happen?" and I always let her know it's been for over a year and she just forgot because she's tired. That part usually works. Just try a few things. Be gentle but creative. Hopefully you find something that works.
Marty30, any time an elder, who has memory issues, says they want to go home, the home they are referring is their childhood home.... back when life was fun and much easier.
When my Mom was in long-term-care, she would refer to wanting to go home. I thought she meant the home she and Dad shared, and Dad was still living in. Each day Mom would ask to go home, and I would say "maybe tomorrow'. Then when she asked if the cattle were in the field that was the ah ha moment, the only home with cattle was her childhood home.
Redirect and Divert. Start a conversation she likes to talk about. Offer food. Tell her your car is broken and you can't take her home right now but will in the morning. Call a family member and tell them to call you back and ask to talk to her. Ask her to help you with any chore she can do.
Don't fight with her about this, it'll just rile up both of you.
Geewiz, I like the idea of a traffic blockage. And in winter, it could be a potential storm, or a storm that just came through and left a lot of snow on the roads.
Try either of Garden Artist's suggestions. Both are used extensively in memory care facilities. Another variation: I just got a call that the bus stuck in a huge traffic delay. But the good news is they promised to let me know when t gets cleared up. Let's sit over here for (favorite activity ) until they call back.
One possibility: tell her you'll take her home tomorrow; it's (too cold) (too windy) (too rainy) (too late) or something like that. By tomorrow morning she'll probably have forgotten about it.
Or, take her for a drive and return to your house, pretending it's her home, and take her to the room where she stays when you return. It might work, it might not, but if you have a lot of her things from her house there's a better chance of this being successful.
This happened to me once; my psych nurse sister gave me the suggestions above.
12 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
Hopefully tonight will be better
When my Mom was in long-term-care, she would refer to wanting to go home. I thought she meant the home she and Dad shared, and Dad was still living in. Each day Mom would ask to go home, and I would say "maybe tomorrow'. Then when she asked if the cattle were in the field that was the ah ha moment, the only home with cattle was her childhood home.
Do your best to get her into bed and asleep
Read her a story
Play baby lullaby on your iPad
They can't remember anything but they're like a dog with a bone when they become fixated
Call a closely sibling to divert and he says to he’s coming now she’s waiting
Boy this is sooo hard!!!!
Don't fight with her about this, it'll just rile up both of you.
Or, take her for a drive and return to your house, pretending it's her home, and take her to the room where she stays when you return. It might work, it might not, but if you have a lot of her things from her house there's a better chance of this being successful.
This happened to me once; my psych nurse sister gave me the suggestions above.