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Momasays Asked August 2017

Do I tell my mom that my brother will be going to prison?

My brother committed a crime, pleaded guilty and will be sent to prison this coming week. We told my mom that he had done this when it happened 8 months ago. She occasionally mentioned it, but hasn't for the last two or three months. Her memory is very bad and I know she won't remember more than a day or two if that long. He has cut off communication with her now. He doesn't/ won't talk about why. Do I tell her the truth, or just continue to say he's fishing/golfing/or whatever? To keep telling her will upset her over and over and she'll ask the same questions. I hate to not tell her the truth, but is telling her the right thing to do?

Sendhelp Aug 2017
Can you say, "I am not sure, we should call him up in a few days".

Momasays Aug 2017
Thank you for the advise. I'll definitely let the staff know so they can be prepared.

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talkey Aug 2017
If she's in a facility, the staff may be able to help. Sometimes those conversations can manifest into behaviors after you're gone. When Dad asks about my siblings & why they don't visit, I tell him that I guess everyone's busy & that I don't really hear from them. Then we just move on to other topics.

JoAnn29 Aug 2017
If she asks, tell her, but only the one time. After that tell a little white lie. Each Dementia patient is different in their reactions. She may just say "all right".

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