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jburns89 Asked September 2016

My grandpa is debilitated and I can't care for him anymore.

My grandpa has suffered from dementia and has advanced to full care in the last year. He is wheelchair bound and wears depends but recently hes been playing in his feces and i cont handle it no more but for the past 3 years hes been my only income. I'm newly pregnant with no place to go if i put him in a nursing home because i put my life on hold to stay at home and care for him. I want to work, I want to go back to finish school. Im only 27 I feel so stuck but i physically cannot do it no more and i feel so horrible. I cry every morning i have to get him out of bed and he has feces smeared all over everything, including himself. Please if anyone has any answers, please help.

GardenArtist Sep 2016
This might also be a good time to assess your life and direction. You might havee to take some evening courses to get up to speed on some of the subjects you'll need to pass, so consider that. Since you normally would have graduated about 10 years ago, there might be some curricula, especially in math, that might require additional courses available through community ed.

pamzimmrrt Sep 2016
Great answer Veronica!

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zythrr Sep 2016
Try to set up a Gofundme account.

Veronica91 Sep 2016
I can see why you can't take care of Grandpa any longer. You are newly pregnant and having to deal with all that mess every morning when you probably don't feel too good yourself.
Grandpa sounds like a good candidate for one of those pajama suites with a zipper down the back so he can't get at the poop.
So sorry you have lost your partner at such a critical time. if he died at work is there any compensation available. i realize you were not married so there is probably no workman's benefit or survivors benefit but sometimes at least larger employees do have a fund to help out such cases at least for the baby. You need to go down to Social Security and see what benefits the baby is entitled to.
The baby should at least get the survivors benefit and there may be lots of things you can apply for. Also go and see Public health so see if you can get an Aide to come in to help with grandpa. Also apply for public housing because you will need that sooner or later. There may also be grants and loans to help you finish your schooling. Will there be anything to inherit when grandpa dies. If he goes to a Nursing home Medicaid will basically take everything but they could grant you the right to live in the house if you have been there for a considerable time.
Everything seems to be closing in on you right now but there is help out there and others will have different ideas of where you can find help. Blessings.

pamzimmrrt Sep 2016
So you are newly preg and the father is dead in an accident. This must have been very recent, so you are likely very depressed, and this is not making GFs care any easier to bear. I am so sorry. And now you have to think about bringing a baby into the mess. (no pun intended) Will the babies fathers family help you out at all,, maybe babysitting while you look into a return to school or a job, even part time? Will there be a settlement from the accident to help you out? I agree with FF, look into getting the medis in place. Then see if YOU qualify for any assistence from the state.. like job training or health ins., etc.

jburns89 Sep 2016
The father is deceased due to a fall at work. My parents have passed away, Im all he has. Ive been with him for 11 years he recently became debilitated 2 years ago.

Countrymouse Sep 2016
I agree with FF's important point that it takes two to make a baby, and therefore there are two people responsible for its upbringing. Someone owes you, no?

But also, where is the rest of the family? Where are your parents? Wasn't anyone keeping an eye on your grandfather before you moved in to care for him?

And if there really isn't anyone around, call APS for advice and help with your grandfather, and find a different advice line for guidance for yourself: Google services in your area. There are people who can help you navigate the system, you won't be judged and you won't be on your own. Reach out.

freqflyer Sep 2016
For your grandfather have him sign up and be approved by Medicaid. Medicaid will place him in a nursing home as he does need a higher level of care, and Medicaid will help cover the cost of the nursing home.

May I ask where is the father of this baby? He has as much responsibility as you do to provide shelter and care when the baby is born. If he is out of the picture, your only bet is to see if you can get unto welfare until you get your life back together.

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