I came back to New York to care for his parents, not the nicest old man but feeling taken advantage of?

Pam, I think the daughter is the OP's daughter, not the in-laws'?

I expect it is like a lot of things in life, as long as you are there nothing no one is motivated to change things... if you are not careful you will loose your own family while you care for your inlaws. Set a time limit of how may more weeks you are willing to stay and make it clear you mean it. It is time for everyone to set some realistic future goal, and if they will not let this house of cards come tumbling down. It is not your battle to fight.

You go home to SC. Let the daughter handle him. She will once you leave.

Is this a short-term arrangement to deal with some kind of crisis, or what? How long have you been staying with your in-laws, and how much longer do you expect it to go on?

Why would you take care of your husbands parents and leave your children?

Hard to readur post. These people r ur in-laws? And a daughter (or granddaughter?) Is living there with her BF and her son. But u do everything and missing out on your own children? God love you but that isn't fair. Like previous post, timeto make other arrangements. Call ur local Office of Aging and see what they provide. If oneor both in-laws are disabled, call Dept. of disabilities see what they offer. See if they qualify for medicaid help. Social Services may be able to help. Helping out temporarily is one thing but long term i another. You need to be with your husband and children. Its wonderful as a SIL you are willing to be there but they are their childrens responsibility.

What are your hubby's parents medical issues? Any memory issues? Also, are you saying that your oldest daughter is also at your hubby's parents house along with her own son and her boyfriend? My gosh if it is taking 3 adults to take care of 2 adults maybe it is time for a higher level of care for the parents.

Can the parents afford Assisted Living? Would they qualify for nursing home care? Could they qualify for Medicaid, which will help pay for nursing home care, and depending on the State where they live, maybe get a waiver to help pay for part of the Assisted Living care?