I never asked to be caregiver, live near 90 and 92 yr old parents. They are not getting along and my siblings are MIA. Advice.

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1Sweet1 Asked October 2013

I never asked to be caregiver, live near 90 and 92 yr old parents. They are not getting along and my siblings are MIA. Advice.

My mom doesn't eat properly has a lot wrong with her but still trys to do the bills laundry and all chores, he drives but doesn't help much except he does cook for them. He is verbally abusive and The fighting is bad, he has a potty mouth to her and she is stressed, has pace maker, bleeding ulcers and now fell again has 3 cracked ribs. I help when i can but i have copd and other problems myself. they do not want to leave their home, he refuses to pay for in home help and the situation is awful. My brother is the executor of their small estate and he is moving to new mexico we are in FLorida.. I need advice and or help talking to them the burden on me is getting unbearable. TY

Burnout

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If they simply won't listen to you, call adult protective services and tell them the issues. They can do a welfare check to see if your parents can be forced to move. If SS people say they can't make your parents get help or move, you'll have to go through the agony of waiting until one of them is sick enough that there is no choice. That's rough on everyone, but elders have rights and sometimes that can mean very bad choices are made. However, you can't risk your own health to take care of them personally. Let them know that if they move, you'll be their advocate and helper (as much as you can).

Good luck. You aren't alone in this so please keep watching this forum to get thoughts from others.

Carol

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I never asked to be caregiver, live near 90 and 92 yr old parents. They are not getting along and my siblings are MIA. Advice.

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