Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
M
MMendez Asked September 2013

My mom is staying up longer and longer. What can I do?

My mom has sleeping pills to get her to sleep but it is the opposite for her. Ive tried everything. Sometimes she is up for a couple of days. She plays possum all of the time but she is awake. Im working 12 days and my husband is sick and really he is the one taking care of her. My children also help ages 17 and 19 because we all live at home but she is litterally driving us all insane. She stays in her room all day sometimes locks the door. rearranges everything (her clothes etc.) she eats pretty good.Actually eats way too much but 1 time a day. She is running around talking to people. She has a dog that she loves to death but she will empty the refrigerator just to feed him. She has to be helped to change brush teeth things like that. She can go to bathroom on her own but lately she has been just using it in her pull ups. Then she doesnt tell no one so she will just undress and walk around naked. Then when we ask her why she wont tell us when she has an accident she says she had been yelling for hours but no one would come. I think Im just venting but omg does it ever just nsettle down for awhile. I was thinking of putting her in the nursing home just for the 100 days medicare allows but just when I was about to an alzheimers patient had just left nursing home and was missing for 2 days. Apparently he left unnoticed, gone for a few hours before someone noticed and was found 4 days later passed away in a ditch. I thought they were in the locked units and well I live in a small town so I just cant imagine that for my mmom. We only have 2 nursing homes and I guess both of them are under staffed. I didn't want to put my mom in there with what was going on and well I just needed a break and now I feel bad because I love her soooo much. I just really wish my siblings would visit or just take her for a week or someone other then my family to take care of her just for a minute. Even just for 3 days so I can collect my thoughts. But............ I'm tired and I feel my life passing by and I feel like Im confined to my home because of my mom. My whole family is anyways. We take breaks all of us. But never together as a family. I feel soo sad. I just want to be normal. I feel for my mom and I hate this disease because it took her away from me. Here it is labor day weekend and my plans are to be at home with my mom so my family can have a break because I am at work so much that is my break before my family goes insane.. We should be going somewhere on a picnic or something but we cant and Im angry............. Everyone wants to spend time with their families too.

tenderhearted05 Sep 2013
He also has parkinsons. if any of that applies. we too have family in town that does not help at all , in fact has not helped for even 5 minutes. frustration and anger are normal. please look to make arrangements to take time for yourself. we are using college kids, CNAs and limited family. again…best to you!

tenderhearted05 Sep 2013
we care for someone with dementia. He was staying up later and later as well when he first came to live with us. We had to establish a very strict routine and stick to it every day. He goes to my daughters house while we work. he is engaged in physical activity as well as mentally stimulated. we also try to get him some activity when we are home in the evening. we turn all noise off at 9pm sharp and ‘everyone “ goes to bed. After he is in bed we get our quite time. It took about two weeks before he settled into to the routine. he does pretty well now. The hard part is when he has visitors that disrupt the routine. It is essential. We also make sure we get our “respite” time one day per week and plan a couple of get aways. Do not feel guilty. You are doing an amazing job and it is hard work. Much more difficult than it was to raise children. You can pick a child up and put them in the car no so with an individual that weighs 210 pounds, get aggitated at times, is confused with everything and life is not as it used to be. They do not like to shower, with men .. the bathroom is a mess continually, takes an army to convince them to change their clothes. Take time to make the right decision for you. Best wishes!

ADVERTISEMENT


pamstegma Sep 2013
You need a break and soon. See if the NH will offer respite care with her dog and give you a few days off for R&R.

kazzaa Sep 2013
No advice im afraid just hugs youm poor thing! My aunt was here 69yrs old and fit as a flea! She was waking me up 3 or 4 times a night going to the loo thankgod shes gone I was just drained!
As for my mum she was waking up alot awhile ago but now seems to be sleeping alot more more than she ever has in her life but think thats the stage of her dementia and it could turn around again but so far so good. I know that sounds awful but am so relaxed when shes asleep and not fuffing around doing things and making more work for me.
You say she spends alot of time in her room? Maybe check sometimes as she could be sleeping? just a thought as mum says im going up to clean my room then I check and shes asleep?
My mum takes a sleeping pill at night and is on antidepressants so that maybe helps her sleep. I know this is not going to last and she may become more agitated at night I think then it will have to be a NH caring all day for her then the thoughts of being kept awake all night my sleep is all i look forward to!! Good luck and her doc should be able to help this is an awful stress on you. I used to sleep 10hrs a day mum says i was a good sleeper even as a baby I know am grateful for 5 hrs!

anonymous182580 Sep 2013
It sounds like she could be dehydrated too, make sure she is getting enough fluid (water and juices). I think a thorough examination by her Dr is needed. Also, it sounds like you might want to consider placing her in a long term care facility, her care needs may be more than you can take on. Good Luck!

assandache7 Sep 2013
Oh you poor girl.. She needs to see her Dr to find a sleeping pill that works or anxiety meds.. If NH is what you want then maybe one that is close to your work so you can visit after work. You really need to discuss this with her DR...Hugs..

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter