How do you rid the anger, sickness, and ill will a father projects? He forces people to relate to him & even influences my mother? - AgingCare.com

How do you rid the anger, sickness, and ill will a father projects? He forces people to relate to him & even influences my mother?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
4

Answers

Show:
Dear Ageandcare: I take it you are still putting up with the physically, mentally, and medically unacceptable behaviors of both your parents? I'm referring back to your June 2013 post about the hygiene issues. Added to that you now have your Dad's anger issues described in the present post and your Mother incapable of standing up to him. I don't see any other alternative but to get some authorities involved here. I can understand that it must be abhorrent for you to even be in their home. It seems that both your parents are mentally incompetent and may need to be medically declared as such and removed from their home and placed in a facility. The mental health issues are apparent, and the medical dangers from the hygiene issues are also very significant. I would start by calling in Social Services to do an evaluation of the situation to give you some guidance and come up with a plan. Please do something quickly - start somewhere, and you will see that help is available. This is a terrible situation for you to be subjected to. I don't mean to scare you, but there is the possiblility that you could be held negligent for seemingly 'allowing' your parents to live the way they do. I think it would be in your best interests to be pro-active in seeking the help your parents need. Certainly a social worker would understand that your parents have resisted and refused all your efforts to help them thus far. It sounds like an impossible situation for any family caregiver to deal with, and it seems clear that they need professional care at this stage. I pray that you reach out and get help before somebody gets hurt. I'm praying for you and hope you will keep us posted with any progress.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Perhaps it is a personality disorder that I wasn't aware of that they possessed growing up My mother didn't raise me to interact with family the way she now interacts with me. The traits displayed by both of them at times is so inappropriate. It's almost ineffable...more gut-wrenching than disappointment or hurt because of the seeming immorality of their new nature or sadness...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I went back to your profile and saw what has been going on, and its not pretty. This may seem terrible, since you so far have just noted the mobility problems they are having, but somehow you have to find the strength to realize that Mom and Dad are not all right mentally and the hostility is misguided self-defense; they do not realize or want to realize they are becoming unable to care for themselves.
You and dad lock horns and mom, not assessing things for what they are either, takes dad's side. Try to detach from the situation mentally for just long enough to think of how reasonable people behave when they need help, and how far from that your mom and dad are now. Think of what you would advise someone else whose mom and dad are doing what yours are.

For some people on here, its a case of old behavior tendencies or personality disorders going from bad to worse, for others, the lack of hygeine and judgement is brand new, but either way, outside, objective assessment of ability to manage ones own affairs is what counts when you can't make them do what they need to. There are no guarantees it will immediately be found that they are no longer capable - they really have to be a danger to themselves or others. But at this point, they may be.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Can you give an example? What kinds of things does he say?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions