I see loss of memory and judgement in my husband, he says I exaggerate and am melodramatic. He has always had bowel problems, crap got on the wall near the toilet, etc., but now he is fecally incontinent and it has gotten worse over the last 3 months, and now he says he is going to get better and I dwell on the bad stuff. I spent an hour today cleaning poop in his bed and bathroom, and even got biohazard cleaners in on last Friday because it was so gross - 2 days after the housekeeper had come. But he presents as very together, smart, affable at the very same time he can't smell or feel he is pooping on himself. Some months ago he asked me if we had any spray paint - turns out he wanted to paint over some poop on the wall. He has COPD and is on heart medicines and has some mild cognitive impairment, but is very defensive about it.
Part of this is his nature and old bad habits. He has been impotent for 12-15 years and over time, with his many surgeries and illnesses, I have become more and more detached from him. I love him and care about him, but I'm tired of him and I'm tired of the constant stress. He really does not take responsibility for himself and I have tried to stand back as much as possible and let natural consequences take care of that, but now, with poop all over the house, it is really impacting me.
He tends to be non-compliant with doctors, at least over the long term, but always talks about getting back to the gym or some such nonsense. I don't say anything but I wonder if he thinks I take him seriously. He has been falling a lot, I had to call 911 to help get him up on Friday, but he won't use a walker or cane. The paramedics told him, I have reminded him, but today he didn't use one. I'm not mentioning it again. He usually doesn't tell me when he falls.
I think he is in a serious decline - do you think I am exaggerating? Am I crazy?