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How to deal with violent behavior. Mother in nursing home and wants to go home. Father and family need to know how to deal with behavior.

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The nursing home should be able to deal with this. Call the social worker there and request a family care conference.

The NH should call in a visiting psych and her medical doctor. This should NOT be on your shoulders or your family's shoulders to resolve.

New violent behaviors can mean a number of things: a UTI, a bad reaction to new medication, a change has happened the person can't process, or just progression of the brain degeneration.

Wanting to go home is a frequent and typical dementia behavior. It is NOT to be taken literally. That would be a huge mistake. What it really means is "take me back to the time in my life when things were good".

I suggest all of you get educated on dementia behaviors. Look up Teepa Snow on Youtube and watch her series on "Making Visits Valuable". It's very understandable and intended for non-medical caregivers. It will give you some coping strategies and responses to your mother that you can use immediately.

One thing that could happen is a recommendation to move your mother to a memory care unit, where they truly specialize in dementia behaviors and responses. The care there really is more appropriate for a dementia patient.

Reach out to the NH social worker and head nurse to get the ball rolling.
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How heartbreaking!

Medical intervention may help. Meanwhile, maybe Dad can send her an "I love you" card everyday, but not go in to see her for a while.

I am glad to read in your profile that you have found a support group. It should all of you to know that you are not alone and this is Not Your Fault.
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Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist and evaluated for medication? That would be my first step.
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