How to deal with violent behavior. Mother in nursing home and wants to go home. Father and family need to know how to deal with behavior.

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The nursing home should be able to deal with this. Call the social worker there and request a family care conference.

The NH should call in a visiting psych and her medical doctor. This should NOT be on your shoulders or your family's shoulders to resolve.

New violent behaviors can mean a number of things: a UTI, a bad reaction to new medication, a change has happened the person can't process, or just progression of the brain degeneration.

Wanting to go home is a frequent and typical dementia behavior. It is NOT to be taken literally. That would be a huge mistake. What it really means is "take me back to the time in my life when things were good".

I suggest all of you get educated on dementia behaviors. Look up Teepa Snow on Youtube and watch her series on "Making Visits Valuable". It's very understandable and intended for non-medical caregivers. It will give you some coping strategies and responses to your mother that you can use immediately.

One thing that could happen is a recommendation to move your mother to a memory care unit, where they truly specialize in dementia behaviors and responses. The care there really is more appropriate for a dementia patient.

Reach out to the NH social worker and head nurse to get the ball rolling.
Helpful Answer (1)

How heartbreaking!

Medical intervention may help. Meanwhile, maybe Dad can send her an "I love you" card everyday, but not go in to see her for a while.

I am glad to read in your profile that you have found a support group. It should all of you to know that you are not alone and this is Not Your Fault.
Helpful Answer (2)

Has she been seen by a geriatric psychiatrist and evaluated for medication? That would be my first step.
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