AL seems to "assess" that parents need exponentially increasing amount of care every few months. They exaggerate and label my parents actions.
Today, I am told of a huge increase needed, just because their staff doesn't witness my dad showering (his typical is evening before bed), they say he needs prompting and now total assistance as he doesn't seem to understand what the assistant with a heavy foreign accent is trying to get him to do in the morning after he is already dressed and having his coffee.
Also, labeled him as "wandering" because he left to walk across street to Target to shop for snacks. He didn't "sign out" as he is not able to write, and has aphasia (can't speak well), and, being his first time by himself, he didn't have us signing him out. He wasn't "wandering" but walked to store and did some shopping. I say he wasn't wandering, but the "nurse"(LVN and aids) say his "was wandering, that's what its called". (It was a conversation of "he was not" and "yes he was".) That label costs ~$900 more per month... and, he really wasn't "wandering". He wasn't lost. He was purposeful and safe.
By the way, I am a nursing instructor and definitely am fully aware of his diagnosis of aphasia, and, as his daughter, aware of his capabilities as I visit at least 4 times a week. How do I argue with the "nurse"/staff? What recourse do I have? What ARE the rules and who really makes these decisions? The nurse says it's her cooperate who looks at it and sees their staff put him as "wandering" and unable to understand their instructions as they want to "prompt showering" and they need to charge more. How can I find out?
That was our sign and we moved her to memory care, they had activities and a nice patient area and outside courtyard.
You father seems to be ready for MC. It actually cost less for her as some things that she paid for extra were now included.
The moment my father's mobility was too compromised, he was asked to leave AL. And when moms dementia advanced along with her mobility, she too was asked to transfer into their memory care bldg.
It can be a royal pain, especially when the AL is corporate owned. I moved my folks out of a Brookdale AL after they bought it out from a small and lovely place and turned it into a money making machine. It was awful.
Best of luck to you.
Others on this site have cameras in their LO's room.
Other than how he looks and smells, are there any other signs that he's showering: wet shower stall? damp towels? soap decreasing in size? etc.
I once had an aid through an agency who spoke English but had a very thick accent and y very elderly Aunt, with dementia and hearing problems, just could not understand. I did eventually get an aid who was better able to communicate with her. At my MIL's LTC almost every aid was west African and had varying levels of accents. Some even I couldn't understand.
Another solution is to "vote with your feet" -- meaning you find a different AL.