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I am in an interesting situation.
I have been living with my mother, grandmother (85), and aunt (73) for 27 years.My mother passed away 3 moths ago tragically, leaving a bit of money in her savings account. No other assets. The house is under my name. I'm currently contacting a probate lawyer in order to pass her savings onto me as her only child (no will, no beneficiaries listed).
My grandmother has been my mother's dependent for many years. Her dementia has been getting worse to the point where we can no longer take care of her at home. She's currently at an acute rehab facility pending discharge, however we're unsure what to do.
My grandmother has 3 living children (three aunts ages 67-69 one who is unemployed and two who make little to no money, getting government benefits).
None of my grandmother's children are stepping up for my grandmother and I don't want to have that burden either, because to be brutal, I am 27 and I want to live my life. I work and I wish to leave the state. My mom worked hard to make what she did, to (I assume) help me out financially one day.
I was splitting the house costs 50/50 between my mom and I, however now I am paying the full 100% for my aunt and I since my mom is no longer in the picture. It's an unnecessary cost for me seeing as we are 2 people in a 4 bedroom home.
My aunts are pressuring me to sell the house to pay 100% for my grandmother's care seeing as that's what "my mom would've wanted.", however I see it as unfair to have that responsibility. My grandmother has dementia and in good functional state. She will most likely live many years and I don't want to be the only one contributing to her care financially.
My grandmother has Medicare and Medicaid. I know Medicare/Medicaid can cover 100 days of SNF/memory care per period, however how do we handle the costs after that? The only one who works and has any money is ME and I'm the grandchild. None of her children have any significant amount of money to help out nor are they wanting to contribute anything.
As mentioned earlier, I'm speaking to a Probate lawyer to receive my mom's savings money (her only asset).My concern is that if my grandmother was my mother's dependent, would she automatically be given that money to pay for her care? My aunts are looking into trying to get her Surviving benefits from my mom's social security. Is everything going to override what I am doing for myself?I want to help with a little sum of $ , but I'm not willing to give everything to that when her children simply don't want to contribute ANYTHING.
How do people pay for memory care when there is no money?Will I have to pay it myself as the grandchild?My grandmother has 3 surviving children. One that does not work. 2 of which make little to no money.

Unless there's something I don't know about social security, your grandmother will not get survivor benefits from your mom. Survivor benefits are for spouses and children. So forget that. Your grandmother is not entitled to mom's savings unless your mom arranged it so she'd inherit them, or if they were joint owners on the account, or some other scenario that showed mom's intent for grandmother to have that money.

When you talk with the lawyer, explore your options about evicting the aunt and selling the house.

My condolences on the passing of your mom. Be strong and stand up for yourself against these grifter family members. You have no financial responsibility for anyone other than yourself.
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Reply to Fawnby
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If your mom wanted the house to go to grandma's care she would have set that up.

I would quit speaking to the aunts, tell the facility that grandmas caregiver died and it is an unsafe discharge as there is no one in the home that can or will take care of her.

Wow, I am so sorry that her children are trying to manipulate you into taking care of their mom.

Do not sell the house for anyone's benefit but your own, that's what your mom would want, that's why she set it up the way she did.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Your aunts are manipulative. Stand strong against them. Tell the acute rehab facility that it’s an “unsafe discharge” use those exact words. Keep saying that phrase over and over again until they find her a care facility to discharge her to.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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Let the surviving children figure out who will be Power of Attorney and make decisions for grandma and also deal with the social worker at the current facility. Do not make this your job or it will consume your life. Politely refer social workers and everyone else to your aunts and uncle and let them figure it out. If grandma has no money and no one to care for her, they will start the Medicaid process. Do not spend your inheritance or money on this. It won’t be enough and will drag you down. Wish them well and visit her when you can.
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Reply to Beethoven13
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Everything MG8522 wrote is spot on.

Live your life. You are 27 and deserve to live the life on your terms. You are under no obligation to pay for your grandmothers care. That should be done with her own to finances. Go straight to the social worker assigned to your grandmother in the hospital and notify them it is an unsafe discharge. If her daughters want to take responsibilty, that is their decision.

Wishing you well.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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No, you do not need to assume any financial responsibility for the rest of your family. Do you want to continue living in the house? If not, I suggest selling the house and using the money FOR YOURSELF to get a place by yourself for a fresh start. Your three aunts can work on getting a placement for their mother. Since they get benefit payments, they should be able to navigate doing the same for their mother/your grandmother.

Tell the social worker at the rehab, adamantly, without backing down, that your mother who took care of your grandmother is deceased and your grandmother cannot return to the home because your mother is not there to care for her. If you want to keep the house, your non-paying aunt can move in with one of her sisters.

You have no responsibility to these leeches. If you wish to continue a relationship with your grandmother, visit her in whatever facility her daughters place her in. But go as a visitor, not someone she depends on financially. Live a good, independent life in memory of your mother, as she would have wanted.

I wish you well. Let us know how things go for you.
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Reply to MG8522
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