My mom is a resident in AL memory care. I lost my dad, who was in a SNF, back in May. Right before my dad passed, my mom stopped eating and remained in the bed for 4 days straight. The memory care DON recommended we put her on hospice. When my dad passed away, the facility recommended we not tell my mom, thinking she would give up all hope. We followed their advice.
Fast forward to 3 months later. My mom is getting up some now, eating some, etc. The past 2 times I have visited her, she has asked about my dad for the first time in many months. Previously she didn’t even remember his name. The facility is still recommending I not tell her he has passed away but to redirect her. She hasn’t asked to go home for many months and today asked me who was taking her home. I don’t know the best way to answer her or how to cope with this. It breaks my heart when I’m already grieving losing my dad.