Advice on a parent that refuses to take care of himself?

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My boyfriend's father isn't taking care of himself. He has 2 people stop by regularly to make sure he has food because he would rather starve than admit he needs help. He doesn't have medical insurance - even though he is disabled - because he says it costs too much. His feet are so bad that he can barely walk, yet drive. And he's living alone. He refuses to accept any sort of help with getting his finances in order or with medical business. He's only 60yo but functions at around that of an 80yo due to a hard life. We're not sure what to do so I figured I'd ask on here. Should I tell my boyfriend to file for guardianship? His dad doesn't have dementia or any mental disabilities. Would not taking care of himself qualify? Are there any other resources available I should utilize?

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I"m no expert, but if he is receiving disability, he should be covered by Medicare. Try to check to ensure that he has Part B coverage. Part A covers hospital charges, bu Part B covers other medical. It's imperative that sick people have that or you end up with huge medical bills.

I would have your boyfriend discuss all that is entitled to due to his disability status with Medicare. They will need authority to discuss it, either with the dad being present or qualifying as a Representative Payee. (See Medicare website for details.)

Seeking legal advice from an attorney is smart, IMO. At least he'll know where he stands. I'm not aware of any insurance to cover court costs. Temporary guardians are appointed in some states to investigate and report back to the court.
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Thanks for the reply. I know he makes too much for medicaid through disability. He has some money in a pension but he can't touch it until he is 65. Or so that's what he says.
Does it cost to get a court appointed guardian? Or does insurance take care of that. I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't mind making decisions for his father but he's very busy. I think our best bet is going to be to talk to a lawyer and see what our legal options are.
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It depends on how much your boyfriend wants to get involved with a situation that will likely be very stressful and could require a lot of his time. This is my take on it. I think I would try to get him help, though I might not volunteer to be the one who does it. The county has provisions for that.

I would likely consult with an Elder Law attorney, even though your boyfriend's dad is not that old. Consult with an attorney who regularly handles Guardianship cases. They would be able to advise on what type of evidence is required to proof incompetency in your state. In my state, the court looks at many things when determining competency. Memory is just a small part. The most attention is focused on how well the person is at taking care of their personal and financial needs. Often the forms you must file can be found online. The court may look at whether the person is taking care of their health and medical needs, paying bills, etc.

Assuming your boyfriend wants to proced on the advise of counsel, he might inquire if the Court can appoint a guardian. He can ask to be the guardian OR can ask that some third party do it. This third party is normally a court appointed person who is pre-approved, normally an attorney familiar with such matters. The guardian would then make all the decisions on his behalf and report to the court. I would see how it works in your state as state laws vary.

If his dad is truly disabled, he should get an attorney to represent him in getting approved for disability benefits. He would then be covered by Medicare, even if he is not of age yet.

Also, he may qualify for Medicaid, if his income is low enough. Do you know what his income is? Depending on that and his assets, he might qualify. I would think that his life could greatly be improved if he got his disability benefits and Medicaid benefits. He would have little if any out of pocket costs for medical care and able to treat his diabetes.

It sounds like he is too resistant to get these applications processed. If he's competent, he has the right to refuse to accept medical care or any benefits, but if he's not, then others should seek it on his behalf. Good luck.
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