My husband's grandmother has been diagnosed with dementia and has fallen a lot. We moved in to care for her and do housework that she cannot do on her own. She has recently decided that she can care for herself and wants us to move out. HELP!

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In our state, she has to serve eviction notice through the court. We have lived with her for 6 months. So, I'm not too worried about that. She was tested for UTI and was positive. She has completed treatment for that. The constant terror the house is kept in has even robbed me of sleep at night. I called APS for help because things have escalated to the point that she is physically acting out. I have nest cams installed in the home to capture these occurrences on video. Plan to get POA asap.
Helpful Answer (2)
97yroldmom Mar 2019

Did the UTI test include a culture? She may need the test again. If they used testing strip and they prescribed an antibiotic without a culture, the antibiotic may not have been the one needed to take care of the infection.

Dolfin the way a POA works is the grandmother chooses who she wants to make decisions for herself for financial and medical issues. She has to be competent to make this decision at the time she signs the document in front of a notary.

I asked about who her DPOA was in order for you to contact them and let them know she wanted you out of the home and to get her to her doctor. It’s good you notified APS. Hopefully you will be able to get her the help she needs.
Does someone have her DPOA? Who normally takes her to her doctors appointments?
Have you lived with her very long? If you have lived with her successfully for awhile and this is unusual or escalated behavior then she should be tested for a UTI.
Tell her you will see about leaving tomorrow and then try to get her tested. A UTI can escalate dementia behavior and is toxic. She would need an antibiotic.

Are you familiar with the term sundowning? While it can happen anytime of the day, it often happens in the evening and is common with dementia.
If this just happened tonight you might find she is fine in the morning but the angry behavior will return in the evening. You should call her doctor and let them know what is happening. They might be able to adjust her
On the other hand, if she sat you down and had a long conversation about how she needs you to move, that’s a different problem.
A person who has dementia isn’t automatically incompetent. If there is no DPOA and you are in her home then she has the right to ask you to leave. She is free to make her own bad decisions until she can be distracted or move on to another issue. . And you won’t be able to reason with her about safety etc. Don’t argue or try to convince her.
Look at Teepa Snow videos online to learn positive techniques to distract her from whatever is going on.
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Its the Dementia talking. She cannot be reasoned with. Nor can she be left alone with her problems. I didn't have this problem maybe someone else can help.
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