I've posted a LOT. This place is kind of my "hidey hole" where I come to read, empathize and get ideas on how to better care for my aging "people".
One of my HUGE issues has been my DH's hearing loss and his choice not to address it. He thinks I non-stop chatter like a monkey and what he doesn't GET is that I am just repeating myself, endlessly.
He did have his hearing checked. The audiologist was not pushing "aids" and I don't think they really do. They let the patient decide. I had told him if he got a clean bill of health about the hearing, I'd drop it.
Well, sneaky booger, he never let me see the dr's report, Turns out he has like 80% loss in one ear and about 50% in the other. Last night he got pulled over by the Highway patrol even tho I could SEE and HEAR her. He swore she didn't have her siren on, so I asked her. Yep. She most assuredly DID.
Anyway, he was mad (no ticket, thank goodness) but he was mad b/c he has been getting pulled over a LOT lately. For small infractions, but he doesn't HEAR the siren and by the time the cop pulls him over, 10 miles later-they're steamed and he DOES get a ticket.
I had been at a play downtown and he sweetly came to get me, although I was happy to take the train. On the trip in, I sat across from a man who was with his wife and son. I realized IMMEDIATELY I was dealing with a "WHAT?" kinda guy, so I just repeated myself for 45 minutes, Getting off the train his wife whispers to me "Bet your hubby is deaf too" I said "Oh yeah, drives me batty". She said "won't wear Hearing Aids because they'll make him look old" "Yup".
As we were getting ready for bed, I shared this guy's interesting life with DH. (Not the deafness) He said "man, you must have talked his ears off". I looked at him and started to CRY, I said "I would sell my engagement ring, my diamond earrings, my anniversary band, my china and crystal, & I would NEVER buy a new car if it meant you would even TRY a pair of hearing aids." I have literally ruined my vocal chords shouting at him.
He was SO SHOCKED. He said the Dr hadn't point blank said he needed the ha/s--but I had found the clinical notes a few weeks ago and they clearly stated he was "compromised". I threw it all away.
So, after a WONDERFUL evening seeing "WICKED" with my daughter, I go to bed, crying b/c this stubborn guy will not even TRY a pair of HA. Half the men his age wear them!!!!
He did say "well, if it would shut you up a little...." to which I just said "I'm shutting up NOW."
There is a place not 1/2 mile from our home that sells the brands of aids that the dr suggested. Dh is getting the silent tx tonight, not b.c I am still mad, realistically, he's happy as a clam in his half-world--but to prove that I am NOT a chattering monkey.
I've posted about this before, and gotten wonderful support and ideas. Sadly, this guy is a dinosaur and he does't want one more thing "wrong" with him, so he ignores it all.
His mother is completely deaf, refuses to wear her aid, his sister just got a pair and I haven't heard anything about how that's going, but she went willingly.
Hubby's biggest excuse : They cost a fortune. OK, so what? We have $4K to spend and I'd rather him HEAR than take a vacation this year.
B/C he is preparing to retire, the whole "What? what? what?" thing is making me just batty.
The fact that our kids will not let him babysit b/c he can't HEAR anything should have impelled him to act. Nope, he makes it all be my fault.
Thanks for listening. I know i am not alone. Just so frustrated. If he ever had looked at his charts after his heart attacks last summer he would have seen in large red print : HOH. Hard of Hearing. Just mean all the nurse, etc had to be sure he was facing them when they spoke and then they'd have to have him repeat it back.
Just a rant. Don't expect he'll go to the hearing aid store on his own, he loves to play the role of poor "henpecked hubby" too much.