Does anyone know of activities that could be done in a nursing home that men would be interested in?

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Does anyone know of activities that could be done in a nursing home that men would be interested in?

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My husband is 74 and has dementia. I had to put him in the nursing home because I wasn’t able to care for him at home anymore. He sleeps and smokes all day and is up and down at night going out to smoke at all hours. Today he said he’s board and that’s why he goes to bed. I’ve brought things up to the activity director and I’ve been told if I think of anything for the men to do I needed to let the director know. I don’t mind helping but I don’t know where to look for ideas. I’ve thought of word finds for my husband but he sees that as childish. He built major roads around KS City yrs ago and wasn’t into word games, sports or golfing. He likes skeet shooting and messing with guns. He used to play in a band back in the day and I’ve taken his guitar to the care home thinking maybe he’d work with that but nope he wasn’t interested. They play bingo down there twice a week but he sees that as ridiculous. I’ve taken some of his gun books down that he always said he wanted time to read but he hasn’t opened them, but I don’t think he could read a sentence or two and even remember what he read. I tried telling him that it’s exercise for the brain. I keep telling him he’s got to challenge his brain instead of sleeping all day and being up and down all night...

Can anyone give me suggestions of where I can look for ideas?

Thank You in advance...

Senior Activities Skilled Nursing Facility Spouse

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The facility my Papa was in had Beer & Movie night for the guys. They also had Poker night. They bought those miniature cars that you race, using a remote control. They set up an easy obstacle course for them to race around. They loved it! They had aides help those who were unable to do it on their own. The whole thing was No Women Allowed.

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That sounds like fun!! My husband never learned to play cards bc he’d rather work he said...
Thank You for your response

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A lot of activities are tailored for women since there are typically more women. Maybe you could get him to paint something that he is interested in. I would try legos or get him a model airplane that he could put together. If he use to build they make 3D puzzles or maybe just a puzzle that has buildings or duck or deer. Craft stores have bird houses that he could paint. Does he have access to a tv or radio? I am not sure how long he has been in the NH but it may get better if he is just transitioning.

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I’m going to Hobby Lobby and see if I can find something simple he could build. I wish I had thought of that myself. Thank You SO much!!

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My suggestion: Find the music from his era, stuff he liked in his teens and 20s (and presumably the other men his age will like), and make a playlist on any of the inexpensive music streaming services. I suggest Spotify but there are others. The men can listen to the old tunes and talk about the memories that listening to them will stimulate... hopefully.

It may sound idealistic but this kind of music therapy has been shown to provide dementia patients with a lot of joy and helps to activate parts of the brain, get them talking and laughing.

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I love that answer. I love when my mom tells me about the songs that she danced to with my daddy when they were dating, so special.

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If he used to be in a band, I would try something to do with music. Maybe singalongs or bring some of his old sheet music and have him sing with you, either in his room or in the living room. My Mom used to play the piano and still likes to sing old tunes. I’ve been told she sings at breakfast and other residents join in. When we sing together in the living no room other people sometimes join us. I have an app on my iPad called Piano With Songs that makes your iPad into a keyboard and is preloaded with lots of different genres and you just follow the red key to play them. Now that shes blind we still play it but I move her finger to play. It’s $4 a month, but the enjoyment she and I have gotten from it is priceless.

Another thought is is to bring stuff to the NH for him to sort out with you there. He’s probably got boxes of old paperwork and junk from when he was working. I know my DH has boxes of that old crap from when he was working, and I would toss it in a heartbeat, but yours might enjoy going through it with you and telling old stories about it.

And if he built roads, maybe he’d be interested in local maps or an atlas. Some guys love researching stuff on a map.

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Thank you for your response and all the good ideas

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A facility I used to work at held weekly poker games. They were open to everyone, but the players did end up being all male. It was the only activity that a lot of the guys participated in and was very popular. They even had poker chips to use, but didn't redeem them for cash. Some of the player's had dementia, but remembered how to play poker as this was something they had done their whole lives, and thus it was a "long term" memory.

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That was my thought, poker, any kind of cards.

Bowling with one of those indoor sets, what about a table top pool set?

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Nursing Homes are required to complete an activities assessment for each resident. Many dementia residents are unable to respond to the assessment but family member must be included. Ask the activity director to review that assessment with you. The purpose of this assessment is to identify what activities individual residents may be interested in or might enjoy participating in Since you've had no professional response from the activity staff you should make an appointment to speak with the nursing home administrator asap. The response from the activity staff person you spoke with is unacceptable and leads one to question just how care is planned and implemented at this facility.

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I reread your posts and it sounds like you have come up with lots of ideas. I am not sure even if you get these suggestions up and running he will want to do any of them either. He sounds like he could be depressed.....? My mom would say she was bored and we would suggest all types of stuff and she wouldn't want to do anything. I used to joke with my sister that complaining about being bored and not doing anything was her favorite activity.

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Hahaha, I know people who have adopted complaining as their hobby. Love how you worded that!

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One thing that I think is important is not to ask, "What do you want to do?" But instead lead him into some activity. These places are boring. And boredom breeds tired and lethargic behaviors. Make a daily schedule and keep to it.
1. A shave
2. A shower
3. Breakfast
4. A five minute walk
5. A gavem
6. Rest perios
7. Snack
8. A five minute walk
9. A treat if allowed ( icecream, cookie, etc.)
10. Checkers Challenge. (Keeping track of your and his wins and losses.)
11. A five minute walk
12. TV Time
13. Cribbage. Learn it with him. Great for memory

The key is to make a schedule that is posted, and then one that check marks can be added to. Routine and order help with memory.

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What's a gavem (or is this a typo)?

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When my Dad was recovering from a broken leg he LOVED Wii bowling. There were several get up and move a bit games that they had for the Wii at rehab.

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I would try VR in this day and age. A lot of elderly do it. It allows a broken body to still roam anywhere they want. My dad likes to use it to virtually travel the world.

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Does he like to build models or do puzzles? Those are things you could bring to him. At my mom's facility, they play balloon volleyball, do target practice with Nerf guns and bowling. All are good for hand/eye coordination. They also have performers who come in to play and sing and they often invite the residents to come up and perform with them. We are blessed to have a very creative and outgoing activities director at the facility. Don't overlook knitting or needlework either. Many men knit. My dad was a gruff long distance trucker but during a strike, he learned to do crewel work and made several beautiful pieces.

Does anyone know of activities that could be done in a nursing home that men would be interested in?

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