I found this forum today, after another dramatic day with my mother and it has made me feel a lot less lonely.
My 76 year old mom lives with me. She is beginning with signs of dementia although she is still pretty self sufficient. She is the most negative person I have ever known. She has alienated my siblings and any friends that she had left.
She is critical of everything and everyone. Today, first thing this morning, I get greeted with how much she hates my cat and wants to get rid of him because she didn’t shut a cabinet door all the way and he pulled out paperwork she had in there. I reminded her that it was my house and my cat and she literally had a tantrum.
Although she could do light housework she doesn’t. She sits and watches tv all day. Then when the weekend comes and I’m running around getting things done she says I’m doing it either to make her feel bad or that I’m bipolar (that’s one of the newer accusations). Everything has to be about her. She takes no interest in anything going on in my life.
I bought a new trash can for my kitchen and she says I have no idea how to handle my money and I’m too frivolous. I had a few friends over one evening this summer for a bbq and around 9:30 she calls out the window that it’s getting late and they should go home. I was mortified. I’m 46 years old and it’s my home and I feel trapped.
She is diabetic and when she gets really mad at me she will eat very little causing her blood sugar to drop very low and I think it’s just to get me to feel sorry for her.
I gently suggested a few months ago that maybe we could find her an apartment in a senior building and it went very badly. Apparently I was ‘throwing her to the curb like trash’.
I love my mother but there are times that I feel real hatred toward her. I feel like I do not have my own life. I hate living in my own home.