My 86 year-old mother refuses to accept that she needs hearing aids. - AgingCare.com

My 86 year-old mother refuses to accept that she needs hearing aids.

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Her recent hearing evaluation showed moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears. The doctor told her that it is the type of hearing loss that hearing aids will help. My mother refuses to discuss hearing aids, won't even attend a free session at the doctor's office to see and discuss the various options. I told her that I would not be screaming into the phone any longer and that I will repeat what I say every time she asks, but that I will not be raising my voice to a shouting level any longer. I just hung up the phone with her a few minutes ago because she said "if you're not going to talk louder then just hang up". This is the tip of the iceberg and I am so frustrated that I have hit burnout on this issue. Let her talk to my brother, the golden boy.

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Jc45liberty. My Golden Boy brother is deceased. This allows an almost saint like perfection when my mother tells me what he "would have done". I loved my brother, but a saint he was not. Good thing I have a highly developed sense of ironic humor.
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It is soooooooooooooooo difficult raising parents. Yes we know they are the parents, but roles do change. They just need to listen to the children who have their best interests at heart. My mother has a golden boy as well! He can do no wrong and is always forgiven for ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hearing aids are expensive, but worth it if used! In a nursing home setting there is much loss of items, not so much theft. Sometimes people misplace their eyeglasses, hearing aids and even dentures! All those add on appendages are difficult to keep track of.
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Thank you for all your comments and suggestions! I know it's not a good situation for anyone, but I don't feel so alone now. I will try the phone with volume adjustment. Maybe she will use it. I'll ask my brother to talk to her about hearing aids (not holding my breath). I will not go back to shouting in person and screaming into the phone. I'm moving on so I can salvage my own sanity and reduce my blood pressure. If she chooses to ignore her hearing loss, that's certainly her choice to make. However, it doesn't mean I have to live with the stress of attempting to communicate with her.
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My mother refuses to go for audiology testing & just thinks she has slight hearing loss. In fact, her hearing loss is advanced. I know from experience in my profession, people will get hearing aids & then not wear them! They’re an expensive investment if our mothers refuse to wear them. Raise your voices...it’s frustrating & annoying but if an elderly person is resistant it’s likely not going to change unfortunately. Make sure the TV or radio is off & speak directly to the person. It’s such a shame as hearing loss is very isolating...and it’s even worse in a room where there is background noise. The hard of hearing person is unable to hear conversations around them. I have bought my mother a volume magnifier at the drug store...it was a waste of money as she won’t even wear that. It drove my mother crazy when her own father was very hard of hearing...she doesn’t get that comparison ☹️ Phones with adjustable volume are very helpful. But Visiting is a challenge. 
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My mother's own sister sold hearing aides. She said some people get too comfortable with silence and cannot adjust to things like their own footsteps. I realise that hearing aides take some getting used to, but my father managed, unlike my mother, Queen of Denial. I am sure untreated hearing loss leads to dementia. I am monitoring my own hearing and will get them when I begin to request repeats. Time for silence in the grave.
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Dear guiltandanger,
I had to chuckle because I refer to my brother the golden boy too. I get to do all the crap work, while he just regales them with everything he's doing. Argg. My mother also won't wear hearing aids - she has some dementia. It's excellent that you're setting boundaries - we must keep our sanity. I have had to give up and so much that's normal. Refusal to do sensible things is part of the dementia thing. Goodness. Best luck to you.
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I had same problem with my father not wanting to wear hearing aid. I bought one for $19.99 at Walgreens, at first he didn’t want it due to other noises we take for granted & don’t hear. So I adjusted to 1st level and he would wear for little while & take off. After he got used to hearing aid now he won’t be without it & his got Dementia! I’ve bought 2 extras Incase battery low or miss places it. Now he can hear callers & the TV not at highest level. It takes baby steps with stubborn parent like mine.
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My mom can't afford them so she just tells you she can't hear you and watches reruns of horrid shows at a volume that makes you shrink on the other side of her house.
My MIL has them but says she likes it quiet. But she also has dementia and sometimes I am not sure if she can hear me or it is her disease.
My husband needs hearing aides.

When I go to visit MIL and help her do things, I just go get her hearing aides and hand them to her. I won't say a word until she puts at least one in.
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OMG. I'm there with you. My mother has hearing aids but won't wear them. So when I call to discuss something with her, the t.v. is blaring and she keeps saying, "Now say what? I can't hear you." It may seem like a picky thing that we're talking about but, it's so very frustrating when you're practically screaming in the phone to have a conversation. From now on, I'm going to start the conversation by saying, I have some things to talk to you about, I'm going to give you five minutes to put your hearing aid in, then I'll call you back. The same when I visit. I'm going to ask her to put her hearing aid in.
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