I’m in search of a catchy phrase that I can say to myself other than “this too shall pass” just to keep myself going.

There is life in you so live it!!!!

Mine is, “ What are you going to do for FUN today?!”

This isn’t as difficult as it might seem. On some truly terrible days - parent in hospital days, that kind of thing - sometimes all I could manage was to sniff some flowers as I walked by. Or read a sci-fi or fantasy book in bed before I go to sleep. Or treat myself to a fancy smoothie from the store.

It reminds me to seek out and grab onto any good moment on any given type of day. Sometimes those little moments really really help bring me to life

Lizbitty, I like your thoughts about the music. Here's one I use sometimes: Lord, I Hope This Day is Good by Don Williams. I hope it helps some of you as well.

I just listened to Downtown. I liked it. I often stop downtown on my way home from work in the evening for a little while before my day really starts at home.

For me, it’s all about music. I hear a certain song, and it changes my mood entirely. I have a song for when I’m sad, a song when I’m furious (and need to calm down), a song for everything, really. I just play it on repeat a few times until I’ve felt it ‘sink in’ and I feel better.

Maybe:

’Downtown’ by Petula Clark

Try looking out for one that speaks to you - has a good up beat, and fills you with joy. Something energizing that has a positive message.

Once you’ve found it, you can listen to it anytime for free on youtube.

"The enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan.”

― Prussian General Karl von Clausewitz, Vom Kriege, 1832

For me it’s:
“Dear Lord, please handle this day for me. I can’t do it by myself.”

We can all learn from the past.

I have read this one in a pub/restaurant today:
Nothing is impossible. The word itself says " I'm possible".
I will write it in my journal

Ever see Finding Nemo? " just keep swimming, just keep swimming" it has a little tune to it in the movie that I can't get out of my head, I use this one to keep pushing forward.

I have posted on my kitchen cabinet, This Season of Dementia with my Dad will not last forever...

This is a hard journey that I never expected...my Mum died 1 year and 8 months ago, then I find out Dad has early dementia...it's been an emotional roller coaster ride mourning my Mum while dealing with all the drama my Dad created partly from grief and partly from brain changes from dementia..

I recommend googling Frank Ostaseski and reading his contributions. Find a place of rest in the middle of things.

My phrase that keeps me going is "I'm doing the best I can!" I also believe in the serenity prayer. I can't solve every one's problems.

"Things will not be like this forever" My best friend always told me that when I was a caregiver for my Dad and then for my Mom. It made me feel better about things just having my friend say that to me and it really worked.

"I am going to make the rest of my life,
The best of my life."

Here is new favorite from the indomitable Eleanor Roosevelt. "Life has got to be lived - that's all there is to it. Take life more calmly. You know that 'this too, shall pass." And just for a laugh ... "When I feel confused or depressed, I remember back to junior high and I silently repeat, 'This, too, shall pass." by Josh Groban
I enjoy alliterations, and thought about "Life 2B Lived" or "Just a Jr. High Moment" but I hope these bring a smile and ideas for your new catch phrase. Remember to take care of yourself, too!

Anche, your insights into perfection are not only very appropriate and helpful, I think that they address one of the aspects most of us face as caregivers:  how to do a good job, w/o overdoing it while reaching for perfection.   I think it could also be said that perfection can cause a high level of frustration, and dissatisfaction with one's own performance and attitude.

I'm printing this on a little card and posting it where I can remember it whenever I start a project.   

I remember discussions had when I was working, and consulting the assigning attorney about how much "perfection" was required for the client to achieve the results it wanted.    I also recall discussions with others working at the time, to get their insights.  Men especially had good advice to offer; they were way ahead of me (and other women) on the corporate ladder.

Thanks for sharing this valuable approach.

Yesterday I had a long nice phone call with the journalist in charge of the Art and Exhibitions pages for the magazine I work with.
She told me this : perfection is the enemy of Good.
It was not at all about caregiving but it made me think that too often we try to do more than our best, we try to make everything perfect... But at the end we just burn out which is not good!

I've discovered some months ago a song by Disturbed : a reason to fight, I listen to it and sing along when I feel "it is a battle I m never gonna win"

I just keep saying, "I'm doing what I know is best for her (MC), and I can't fix her."

Go to bed, go to sleep
For the morning brings more wisdom than the evening.

(from an old Russian fairy tale)

A friend posted this on her Facebook wall yesterday
Do something that makes you happy everyday until it becomes a habit.

I read a quote that said trust the water to hold you up and use your energy to go forward. I like it

Scarlett: I'll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

That is the quote I think about when I've had it for the day... then, go to bed, and even if the problem is still there tomorrow, I'm rested and will have more patience in the morning.

Many times near the end of the day, my Mom sees something or hears something on TV that triggers a memory or "issue" and she gets focused on something and wants to start a serious conversation which never ends well... I have to repeat a bunch of times, and/or she gets argumentative.

So, I finally started using a new approach, saying in a light-hearted tone.... Remember, it's after 5, no more thinking today :) Let's just enjoy the show !
We'll talk in the morning. And then we just watch something entertaining, funny, etc. And in the morning, she doesn't remember whatever it was that was bothering her.

Needhelp, it was posted by a friend I thought it is exactly how I feel, what I should not have done. I thought it would "speak" to others as well so I translated it...
I am now going to copy it in my journal!

You can’t change someone else, but you can change your reaction to that person.

Anche,

Excellent! You just described how I was in the past! You probably described half of this forum.

No to do list (I have translated it into English. Hope it is ok).
* try to please everyone
* say yes when I'like saying no
* ignore my needs and my limits
* compare myself to others and juge myself
* wait to be exhausted to rest
* force myself to do what others expect me to do
* underestimate or ignore my emotions
* pretend to be fine when I am not
* wait for someone else to make me happy

My cousin has a phrase that has kept me going:
"Nothing will ever get better...it will only get different"
It has helped me to accept the changes as I go forward.

"it's not worth the bail money"

When you're going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end. John Lennon


I'm just getting around to reading this thread. The one about we'll burn that bridge when we get to it reminded me of a funny story. Years ago I heard that quote somewhere, liked it, and started using it. Recently one of my sons told me that he was in college before he realized the original saying was cross that bridge when we get to it.