I am a 22 year old woman, who's been caring for a middle aged wheelchair bound woman with severe spinal damage along with a host of other health problems for almost 5 years now. Over the course of last year and this following year, I've noticed that I've become much more reclusive especially without the use of my car at the moment. I spend days which turn into weeks staying home, doing the housework, taking care of our animals, making dinner, making sure her hygiene needs as well as all of her physical and some of her emotional needs are met, and playing secretary to things she can clearly keep track of if she tried. I catch myself forgetting to take showers regularly, since I figure no one is going to see me anyways, I mean I don't get out for errands either anymore. I don't bother with the idea of getting good sleep, since it's either interrupted constantly or she decides to go to bed late which is always. I even stopped with the idea of meeting new people or hanging out altogether along with having leisure time to go to the book store since it's interrupted by whatever is inconveniencing her (her foot, she's too hot, she needs another blanket ect.). I've stopped bringing my friends over to the house since she has a tendency to literally third wheel me with my own friends and partners by over talking and by being overly inviting in a certain sense. Funnily enough though, she will rarely complain when I'm either home or running errands. I never care when she gets upset with me because I slept through the night and didn't hear 10 of her calls and texts asking for her catheter to be fixed or I didn't listen to her about which CVS coupon to use through the app, or even if I handed her her pills late for an event since I always feel the argument is one sided anyway and she can freely become the "injured party" then proceed to tell me how she is my job, responsibility and heaven forbid if I should say something in slight dissagreement, I am reminded (rarely) that I am "uneducated" or "the beckon call girl", so whatever answer I give isn't respected and is barraged with heavy questioning along with her diatribes about how her body hurts, how miserable she was, and what disscomforting thing happened and most importantly how hurt she is. So far, I have been in this house for close to maybe 2 months this year and a year and a half last year and I can't remember for the life of me when the last time I had respite, I keep thinking it was maybe around christmas, even then sometimes it's not a true respite. I have this overwhelming desire now to just leave maybe through something fatal or to maybe just vanish. I hate doing mundane things like going through facebook,and being reminded that life is moving swiftly with the added slap that I barely even recognize some of my friends and family. I am currently shooting for some ideas of how to get out of such a trap and get my car fixed or at least have money for some other means of transportation.