It never really bothered me too much until now. He recently told me he is going to see a lawyer with Mom to have her POA changed. Seems the state changed some laws about POAs and she needs to do a new one. No one asked me to go with them. I was left off the original POA and am sure I will be left off this as well. I told him that he needs an alternate in case he couldn't do his duty or was sick or died. No one wants to seek guardianship. He agreed that "someone" would be an alternate. I think he is planning on putting his 28 years old son on as alternate.
This just makes me angry. My brother has 10 more years to work, my nephew (a very nice young man) is a baby who lives at home under his Dad's close supervision. My SIL is a workacholic. I am retired.
My brother has told me "we" will take care of Mom together. However, I am never included in these financial decisions or planning. Mom is paranoid and really doesn't want ANYONE knowing anything. But has lied about me to try and keep me away from her money. She has a good bit and she needs to have some check and balances. No one is dishonest, or at least, I didn't think so until now.
Both are aware they have hurt me deeply. My husband is baffled at their selfishness and insensitivity. But it seems my brother gets some warped joy out of letting me know I am not included and as he said it will never be 50/50 with handling the financial details of Mom's business.
My feelings are, if I am not good enough to be privy to Mom's elder planning, POAs, etcc. I am not good enough to take care of her. She can go to the AL or NH in their home town. At least I live far away, but believe me, when she needs help, they will be calling me in a New York minute. They do nothing, and I mean nothing, for her now.
I am at a loss as to how to deal with my so called family. My husbands says just be nice and pleasant and ignore them. Maybe. Any other advice from my friends on this site? This does hurt.