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I have a dear young friend who has taken over her father's finances and basically, runs his life because he is killing himself with drinking. She is not doing it to be controlling or hateful--she doesn't want to lose another parent to alcohol abuse--and she deeply loves him. She knows, that despite her 'control' he is still obtaining the drink of his choice and all she is doing is staving off the inevitable.
He did ask for her help--so she isn't overstepping her bounds--people have the right to drink themselves to death if they want. She is being loving and firm.
But in the end--this man is not dumb. I don't think ANYONE thinks drinking to excess 24/7 is a good idea. But we are stupid animals, really, and it takes self control that many don't possess to care for ourselves.
SO, no dr EVER talked to your dad about alcohol abuse? I find that hard to believe.
People have known for many, many years that alcohol and tobacco abuse are 2 main causes of cancers and early deaths. It's NOT the Drs job to tell your dad something that is so patently obvious.
I'm sorry for you--but don't blame the drs. Did you talk to him? Followed up with a ton of articles and background info?
The responsibility for not drinking lies solely with your father.
Your husband knows yet he still drinks. I'm sure you have told him countless times about his drinking, yet he still drinks. He is not going to listen to anyone. If and when he wants to stop, or when he can't drink anymore, he'll stop.
I'm sorry about your situation. The only recommendation i have is for you to join a support group for people whose spouses/relatives are alcoholics.
Has hubby tried talk-therapy?
Also, I remember long ago hearing about a certain drug that if taken and the person tries to drink alcohol it will make them sick.... thus make the person not want alcohol any more. The issue would be trying to make sure the person uses the medication as prescribed.