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Heart2Heart Posted April 2014

Turning life's traumas around (breaking the mind-set).

I want to share an article I recently read in AARP (April/May 2014) about POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH (I had never heard of this before). "It causes you to confront questions... see understandings of the world (after a traumatic event) that no longer apply to you... "It's not just about being resilient. Resilience is when you get punched, stagger and then jump back up. POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH is different when you stand back up... you are transformed". Examples in this article where 'Sully' Sullenberger's landing on the Hudson and a husband loosing his 50 yr old wife after she fell off a ladder.

It clicked with me how we caregiver's are never the same person, but that we can evolve using our caregiving experiences as a catalyst. I'm going to look more into this and hope you can come along with me on this POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH journey that can have a positive outcome for us.

Heart2Heart Apr 2014
You're right Jessie... I think 'thinking' about it all is a good way to start... and, to continue... Perhaps, we're being too 'hard' on our 'selves', because we're really the only one judging our 'selves' here. We shouldn't let 'outside' influences dictate who we are or 'how' WE feel about out 'selves'. I think if we could ONLY come to TERMS and get over the feeling of a 'lower' standard of self, we'd feel better... The difficult part for me, is feeling like I don't do enough... or, second guess myself... so, I have to work on this a lot, while enjoying the 'moment'... a difficult task. I know I also get scared at loosing my mother... so, this is a very big 'hardship' for me to handle... but, trying, trying...

JessieBelle Apr 2014
What you asked made me wonder if the way we look at things helps us grow. If we see experiences as being tested by fire, we emerge better than we were. But if we see them as being drug through sewage, maybe not. It is something to think about as we go through so much that is traumatic.

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Heart2Heart Apr 2014
Yes Jessie... Sometimes it's very difficult to put it into words what we go through, but it does help so much to brainstorm with other caregiver's who go through these 'trials and tribulations'... We all handle things differently, especially when we have to deal with so much... sometimes, with so little... sometimes we run on only our love, loyalty and steadfastness... running on empty (as the song goes)... trying to emerge while standing 'tall'... After all we go through... it is a miracle... this life... isn't it?

JessieBelle Apr 2014
Heart2Heart, I believe what you mentioned can be so true. It may go beyond simple things. It may be that we are able to emerge on the other side at a different spiritual level. For some people, this level can be lower. There is so much anger and resentment. But for others it can be higher. If nothing else, caregiving teaches us so much about ourselves and other people. It can lead us toward God or drive us away. I don't think anyone can go through it unchanged. I guess what we can hope for is that we'll grow and emerge better for what we've gone through, instead of shriveled up and hiding.

Heart2Heart Apr 2014
Thank you captain... Well said... Hope you're doing well... You have a good attitude which I'm sure didn't come easily after all you've endured. Have a nice week...

anonymous158299 Apr 2014
no , heart you'll never be the same. you learn patience, compassion, tolerance, sacrifice, responsibility, face your fears, learn what advocacy means, you learn self pride, flexibility, empathy, and the list goes on.
a health aid hustled edna into the bathroom the other day against ednas protest and began washing her from head to toe. i called the agency and kindly told them that edna was capable of washing her own azz, has been for 90 years. i told them the girl wasnt listening to the patient and was too aggressive. i believe the next visit will be a little more professional.
so yes, ive even learned to be diplomatic.
these are traits that will enhance your life..

pamstegma Apr 2014
UNC Charlotte is doing some research on this. See http://ptgi.uncc.edu/ptg-research-group/ for information.

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