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My Aunt and her husband came Wed night and were suppose to leave on Sunday to relieve me.. well.. they just left!!!! They had a huge fight with my grandfather!!! They are not ever coming back either. I STILL had to get up early Thurs and today to feed and give my grandfather pills, and today an appt!!! Now, the only girl working two days a week will be there in the morning and I was going to sleep in at my home! But I will have to spend the night and get up and leave when she gets there...

I love my grandpa but Im sick from a cold/bronchitis, cant shake it. Also, teeth problems and I just want to spend time with BOTH of my kids.. ( she never wants to go with us to spend nights/ days) Plus I have lots to sort through and yard work here( not really rest but still)

Im the only family member left who his caring for him... as I mentioned before my dad tries but he has his own health issues and they argue badly. So...I got upset that they left. I shouldn't feel that way.. I know Im wrong.. why am I being so greedy? He has done soooo much for us...

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I know its been a while since I posted on this topic, just wanted to say thank you vstefans and 1brokenshoe for replying. I agree with you both on the no time with family and friends. ( and everything else you all mentioned). Thank you for your suggestions :)
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You're not greedy. What's greedy about needing help? It's all fine and wonderful for us to open our hearts and homes to our elderly family, but slowly it creeps up...what used to be leisurely days turn into all consuming total care. You don't even know it's happening. One day you realize that you can't sleep in, you can't " just pop out to the store or have lunch with a friend" ( in fact you pretty much lose all your friends) you're responsible for 3 meals a day and your main concern is the color of their urine and "have you pooped today". Time for bed now, you've worked all day long, tried to fit in your own needs but weren't very successful. You lay in bed wondering " why am I complaining? He/ she is so wonderful and I shouldn't feel like this". The guilt keeps you awake too late, and a couple of hours later your alarm goes off...time to get him up...and start HIS day all over, because they aren't YOUR days anymore.
So you still feel greedy? Guilty? You, my dear, have nothing to fear in that department. Call home health care (comfort keepers or some place like that ) they charge about $20 an hour when it gets too hard on you. Good luck.
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What "greed" - to wish you had the help you needed so you could have a life too! Look, this is not fair to you - grandpa may be disagreeable or have become disagreeable, and everyone else has run off, rightly or wrongly; his medical needs are complex and having all his care on the shoulders of one person is going to be a lot, maybe even too much. You are the one sticking around to see that grandpa has the care and support he needs, you don't need to feel bad about feeling bad. Resentment and anger at the others who are not helping would be completely normal. "Shouldn't feel that way" is a common thing we tell ourselves, but feelings are just feelings and should not be the basis of how we judge ourselves or how we decide to do what we think is the the right thing to do. Sure, sometimes, feelings may clue us in that what we believed might not be quite right, or that we have an attitude adjustment we can make, but by and large feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are.

I'm glad there is a little respite help in the picture already, and without more of it you are very likely to be spread too thin. Maybe the folks that can't handle him face to face could chip in a little financially, and your dad could handle some of the paperwork and phone call burdens that are going to come up - believe me that gets draining too.
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Well, he had two sons and a daughter, one son still works but is retirement age in another city but really has nothing to do with him anyways. My father is disabled himself and tries to help him but they also argue and his daughter just got layed off and she lives in another state. All other family does live in other states but.. many wont come here even when they take their once or twice a year vacation and the ones who are retired wont either. Honestly, even if we lived in the same place.. they wouldn't help. Thank you
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I don't think you are wrong....I think this care issue should run down the line of responsibility to your grandfathers children, meaning your aunt and uncle as long as they are alive. My own daughters are 31(married with 2 toddlers) and 28(engaged) ...I don't feel they should have any responsibility in caring for my mother....Granted neither of them live close to me but even if they did they need to be young people... Not caregivers to my 92 year old mother
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